The one thing I hate myself about in the past few years. [I Have Asperger's Syndrome]
In the past few years my Aspergers has become more and more of a problem.
In 2017; I was part of a team programme where this girl called Meg, said she was a hugger, she said she loved hugs, whenever she was cold she wanted hugs all the time. So I did as she asked... Then two weeks later, she bombarded me with jerky comments saying I wasn't giving her space, she told me to always hug her so I did as she asked, I had no concept of anything else but that instruction until she started having a go at me about it. We spent the rest of the programme not talking but if she had said something prior to the bombardment, I would've stopped. That's when I came to realise that I need to be told, to learn the lesson, not being belittled.
In 2019; I had a problem at work where I posted some posts about troublesome work situations on Facebook. But then I got in trouble and almost lost my job for it because it breached the social media contract but I had never been shown this contract, nor was it readily available. Thankfully work gave me another chance and I limited my Facebook posts...
Until this year when all these riots started, I was confused by what was happening in my mind, it was just human fighting human and so I asked my Facebook friends, whom I had known for 4 years and shared a lot of stuff with what the trouble was and I told them I couldn't understand due my Aspergers and they went on to say that if I couldn't understand what was happening, I was a racist piece of s***, a broken piece that is everything wrong with our society. After this conversation, I had a panic attack, falling down the stairs and getting my laptop trashed in the process.
Then the next day, I receive a message, that my "Friends" had started a chat group talking about me and my "Aspergers Issue." And they started spreading rumours about me across my friends list. I started out with 227 friends, within 24 hours it had descended to 150. So I contacted those I wanted to keep in touch with school friends and family, and left all social apart from this one.
Because I wanna Understand because, I'm tired of learning the lesson after I've done something wrong. And having no concepts of certain things because of my Aspergers, maybe I am broken.
In 2017; I was part of a team programme where this girl called Meg, said she was a hugger, she said she loved hugs, whenever she was cold she wanted hugs all the time. So I did as she asked... Then two weeks later, she bombarded me with jerky comments saying I wasn't giving her space, she told me to always hug her so I did as she asked, I had no concept of anything else but that instruction until she started having a go at me about it. We spent the rest of the programme not talking but if she had said something prior to the bombardment, I would've stopped. That's when I came to realise that I need to be told, to learn the lesson, not being belittled.
In 2019; I had a problem at work where I posted some posts about troublesome work situations on Facebook. But then I got in trouble and almost lost my job for it because it breached the social media contract but I had never been shown this contract, nor was it readily available. Thankfully work gave me another chance and I limited my Facebook posts...
Until this year when all these riots started, I was confused by what was happening in my mind, it was just human fighting human and so I asked my Facebook friends, whom I had known for 4 years and shared a lot of stuff with what the trouble was and I told them I couldn't understand due my Aspergers and they went on to say that if I couldn't understand what was happening, I was a racist piece of s***, a broken piece that is everything wrong with our society. After this conversation, I had a panic attack, falling down the stairs and getting my laptop trashed in the process.
Then the next day, I receive a message, that my "Friends" had started a chat group talking about me and my "Aspergers Issue." And they started spreading rumours about me across my friends list. I started out with 227 friends, within 24 hours it had descended to 150. So I contacted those I wanted to keep in touch with school friends and family, and left all social apart from this one.
Because I wanna Understand because, I'm tired of learning the lesson after I've done something wrong. And having no concepts of certain things because of my Aspergers, maybe I am broken.
26-30, M
