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I Love Jokes And Riddles

An Ex-wife's Revenge...........................

[b]She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight,
put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room
and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed.

Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters,
during which they had to move out for a few days,
and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,
they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place..

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly,
and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was,
he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth,
but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home....
.
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
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.
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including the curtain rods.


I <3 LOVE聽<3 A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????? ;)[/b]
KA9ha31-35, M
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
KA9ha31-35, M
@valobasa4ever so she pulled them back from their family
@KA9ha [c=800055]So do you think she was selfish one ! [/c]
KA9ha31-35, M
@valobasa4ever self centered
KA9ha31-35, M
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
MichaelT36-40, M
Nice one.
@MichaelT [c=#800055]Thank You for visit. [/c]
KA9ha31-35, M
@valobasa4ever A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
PeachesF
This is an "oldie but goodie!" 馃ぃ [i]Love it!馃悷锔忦煇燂笍馃槪[/i]
@Peaches [c=#800055]Thank you.[/c]
GlossyF
The breakdown of biological material is a lot quicker than you realise. The shrimps would have ceased emitting any odour after about a week or two and the smell would have dissipated. She's going to have to break into their house every few weeks to replenish the shrimps. Good luck with that.

Pro Tip. The next time she creeps back into their home, she should take a can of gasoline and a box of matches with her. It's a lot more effective.
@Glossy haha
I love it the way[b] you[/b] gave the idea of Burning down whole house . 馃槍
Making a mental note .
And thank you .
Virgo7961-69, M
I was afraid you were going to say after dinner she decided to stay馃槼
@Virgo79 [c=#800055]You did not like the ending !! [/c]
Virgo7961-69, M
@valobasa4ever I did!馃榿
Northerner70-79, M
hahaha very good.
Northerner70-79, M
@valobasa4ever I wish there were more stories like this .It is good to smile
@Northerner I will try to write more in near future .

Regards
Northerner70-79, M
@valobasa4ever Thank you.
wintersecret41-45, M
a perfect way to take a peaceful revenge :P
@wintersecret 馃挅 it, the way You reply to the post..
wintersecret41-45, M
luvin2flirt61-69, M
that was a good story...lol
@luvin2flirt Never mess with wife ;-)
luvin2flirt61-69, M
@valobasa4ever I do believe that...lol
@luvin2flirt Clever Man .

I heard that years ago. Really hilarious !! Thanks for posting !!
DrWatson70-79, M
I did NOT see that coming at the end! Hilarious!
@DrWatson Thank You for 鉂わ笍 .

Regards
You brightened up my day 鉁岋笍
@Marta Thank you . 馃槍

(Hugs)
antonioio70-79, M
Justice comes in the end
@antonioio Always !!? :-O
Mguinm51-55, F
馃ぃ well done!
@Mguinm 馃槍
jaymic64M
SW-User
馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀
@SW-User Are you okay !!? ;-)
SW-User
CharlieZ70-79, M
black4white56-60, M
That was a good one.... so now when you and i find a place we have to be careful of the curtain rods IF there is a scent in the house
jjoe01
BadPoet48
LOL... Now that last line was certainly the best punch line in a long while!
;-))
labyrinthlife
hillarious indeed :)
LoL....
bryanneck
Brilliant!
Thanks again... (:

Regards
lexxinee
GENIUS! xD
SpiceZ
Good one!!!!!

 
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