I Dont Know Who I Am Anymore

My dad was always the drinker. Anything that happened warranted a drink. But he's been locked up for a year now, and I've noticed that my drinking is growing. I've never been legitimately, not all the way here, drunk. And I've never made myself sick. But I just downed enough, fast enough, that I covered my bathroom in vomit. I cleaned it and immediately started realizing what a disappointment I am. I don't what I'm doing. I don't know why I'm doing. I don't even recognize the girl in the mirror. I don't know who I am anymore".

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AliceTinker · 51-55, F

Whoa, don't go down that rabbit hole of feeling so disappointed with yourself for drinking too much that it makes you drink more.
You drank too much and made yourself ill.
That's it.
I personally don't think a child of an alcoholic is anymore likely to be an alcoholic more than anyone else that's had a messed up childhood. It's not a foregone conclusion that you will follow suit. Join a group if you're worried. They're not all sit around in a big group type things. Some can just be a chat one to one with someone.

LyricalOne · F

Please be careful. There’s a very strong genetic component to alcoholism.

SW-User

@LyricalOne tell me more about it.

nowic2 · 61-69, M

Well the ball is entirely in your court now. Only you can decide what you want. Let the bathroom be a wake up call to you or keep going as you are? I have no doubt you have a lot to offer others & a lot going for you. What do you want your future to look like? You have to make some choices. There will be people to help you if you need it. Make the right choice for you!

Silverwings · 61-69, F

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, God gave it to you, what you do with it is your gift back to him, choose well, live in moderation, do not waste time in regrets, there is nothing good to be gained from doing so, if you are not happy figure out what is wrong and find a way to make it right, be your own best friend, choose to reach out to others, for support and learn to give as well as take, give God the praise that is due him, you will be rewarded, learn to be thankful every day in every way, be the best you possible.

silkandlace · 46-50, M

Just slow down Dear, nothing wrong with drinks, but if you alienate YOURSELF, take it easy,, more than enough to go around, cheers 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

SW-User

I exactly feel like you. Also my drinking is going high and it is not good. I also don't know why I do it. :(

StillLearning · 26-30, F

It's funny. Most people who turn 21 become "mini-alcoholics" because they're finally of age. I'm finally able to provide for myself what my family has for a while. I can't stop. I don't even know if I want to anymore. @SW-User

SW-User

@StillLearning Yes I started at 22. And sometimes I hate myself. My alcohol habits have recently grown more. I hope you can recover early.

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