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I Need Therapy

Session 23:

[big]Lost... Alone... Angry... and Getting Nowhere
[/big]
"So, it's been awhile, what have you been up to?"
"Nothing..."
"Well, what's on your mind?"
"I don't know..."
"I see, I see. What would you like to talk about?"
"Nothing, really, I guess."
"Why are you here?"
"I guess I had an appointment... like a check-in type of thing... I thought... or..."
"Well, yes that's true, but... I know... let's talk about your childhood today."
"NO!"
"No...?"
"I don't want to... it's irrelevant."
"[sigh] It's not irrelevant and we need to discuss it. You can't run away from it."
"I'm not trying to run away... if you took any interest in my pathetic life, you would know I am trying to distance myself from my past, but that's not the same thing as running away."
"Okay... why so much hostility?"
"I don't know..."
"Well, why do you think? You seem aggressive to me."
"Well, maybe I'm sick of being passive and docile. Maybe, it's time to be more aggressive."
"What do you want to accomplish with that?"
"I don't know..."
"Let me ask you... do you want to be here?"
"You mean right now?"
"Yes, do you want to be here right now?"
"Actually... no."
"Then I think you should go."
"Fine."
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MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@BlueClapTrap Well, that's exactly what I thought too at the time. And, I hate (HATE) to feel like I am defending his approach, but he later explained to me and I somewhat agree now, that since I was acting like I didn't want to be there and I didn't want to literally be there, we were both really just wasting each other's time to satisfy a pre-arranged appointment. That being said, I still kind of resent how abrupt he was and ending the session and making me feel like I had done something wrong when he tells me time and time again I should always feel like my feelings are valid.
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MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@BlueClapTrap Yeah, well I have accused him of that in the past and he's come back at me as being hostile and disrespectful. He thinks I have an "attitude problem" to begin with. There's more... but basically, it's why I keep thinking maybe he's not the right person I should be talking to. It's just that... you know... we already have a relationship kind of started already. And, he has some good qualities too... somewhat.

 
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