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I Was Molested - and I Never Told

I have not yet told my boyfriend who I’m currently in a very serious relationship with. I feel bad for not telling him since we’re both pretty committed to each other and have even discussed marriage a few times. I know this is something he ought to know, but I’m also afraid of how he will react once he finds out that I was molested by a woman. He comes from a very religious upbringing and has told me he used to be very against homosexuality. He seems more open-minded since I’ve met him and is even coming around a bit in regards to LGBT rights. But I can tell some negativity is still there and I fear he will think I’ve been tainted once he learns it was a woman who molested me. I’m writing about this now because I’m working up the courage to finally tell him. He knows I’ve had a very difficult and traumatic childhood, so he has an idea, at least. Even if the fact I was molested by a woman doesn’t bother him most, I know everything else will be very hard for him to hear; everything she did to me, how long it went on for and how she even got away with it. I guess this will put our relationship to the test. Either it will make our bond stronger or it will tear it apart.
SW-User
Dude, if you have a boyfriend that would think you're tainted, he ain't worth being with.
jeancolby · 31-35, F
You don't have to tell him everything, I was molested by my aunt and other women. You don't have to give details of what they did and your reactions. I do that where its anonymous like here, but generally keep it to myself.
I can’t predict how he will react and it’s unfair that you feel you need to include him completely without knowing how it will be received.

As far as ‘being tainted’ is concerned, that is just goofy. You are not responsible - not then, and not now. If a cat burglar climbs into a second-floor window and makes off with the candlesticks, nobody blames the home-owner. Something was stolen from you - you are not, not, not to blame.
@Mamapolo2016 I fear that’s how he will see it. I hope I’ll be wrong, but I can’t tell.
@PerchingDove I hope you’ll be wrong, too, but maybe it’s something you need to know about him before continuing.
ImKelsey · 26-30, F
*refrains from making two lips joke*
@ImKelsey Your comment was completely inappropriate and uncalled for. That and what you just told me really shows how immature you are. Grow up.
SW-User
@PerchingDove Block her, I'm going to. She isn't worth your energy.
@SW-User Maybe I will. And thank you, glad to see [b]someone[/b] stepping in on this.
Good luck there,. Hope you are able to find courage and he better not react harshly as it was not your fault.
Kathymomstepmom · 36-40, F
Nothing wrong with liking it.
AllAboutLaffs · 70-79, M
Best of luck to you ...
MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M
As long as you didnt like it, there shouldnt be any worries. Past is in the past and it wasnt your decision.

 
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