Daily crush update

He texts me at 1 am in the night saying he was drunk and out with friends. At 4 am he texts me saying he just returned home.
I don't understand how he can seem so cheerful about it.
Today he was joking about how he wanted a whiskey treat from a colleague.
I like to see his face all lit up and happy, but there is a deep gnawing sadness inside me which grows every time he talks of weed, alcohol or smoking.

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MissMollyCharlotte0702

He is into drinking, smoking, and weed. If these things are not appealing to you then you should not date him and he will not change what he is doing because he enjoys it. You are better off finding someone who enjoys the things that you do.

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@MissMollyCharlotte0702 that's the truth. Anyway, in a month I leave my job, so the distance night make the attachment fade away :)

MissMollyCharlotte0702

Take it from me. I had those same feelings about a guy who loved to drink, smoke, and smoke weed and I thought he would change if he understood it wasn’t something I liked doing all of the time. We dated a while and he became angry and abusive. Not saying this guy will, but he was never willing to change and actually turned out to be an alcoholic.
Move on if you don’t feel good about his drinking. @Heretodaygonetomorrow

sspec

@Heretodaygonetomorrow 🙂

sometimeslonelytoo · 51-55, M

A source of incompatibility between you, perhaps? I think you sound pretty close if he thinks it's ok to message at such later hours, drunk or not.

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@sometimeslonelytoo yeah... I don't mind texting him at any hour... but yeah, incompatibility in this regard is one of the main reasons I want to wait it out and not act based on mutual attraction.

sometimeslonelytoo · 51-55, M

@Heretodaygonetomorrow Sounds sensible to me in that respect. Good thinking.

MushroomFaerie

That's what most people here are like all the time.
It's pretty normal to me

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@MushroomFaerie I don't mind if it was just anybody. It bothers me because I see him as a potential long term life partner...

MushroomFaerie

@Heretodaygonetomorrow Unfortunately you can't change it but if he's as young as you he will probably grow out of it

SW-User

Just kiss him already

View 1 more replies »

SW-User

@Heretodaygonetomorrow its been over 5 months already

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@SW-User Mar 26 was just three and a half months ago :D

MissMollyCharlotte0702

She shouldn’t go any further if she has a bad feeling about his drinking,smoking, and weed. @SW-User

Soossie

Just be careful... that's not a healthy sign..

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@Soossie yes. I have decided to wait it out for a few months before I take some concrete steps. :)

Soossie

@Heretodaygonetomorrow

Good for you... that's a very wise decision..

MrSmooTh · 31-35, M

Oh yeah he sounds like a real winner...

Heretodaygonetomorrow · 26-30, F

@MrSmooTh he is a great guy frankly. Charming, intelligent, great taste, a hard worker.... I cannot be blind to his good qualities which outweigh these habits.

MissMollyCharlotte0702

Those habits can outweigh his good qualities over time. Drinking and smoking affect the health. @Heretodaygonetomorrow

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