What are some idiotic things your parents have said over the years?

My real dad was convinced the Vietkong were going to invade Sydney Harbor some day, and my stepdad used to get really angry when the microwave would heat up the plate, as well as the food he was trying to cook. That made him really cranky, he'd scream "IT'S SUPPOSED TO HEAD UP THE FOOD NOT THE FUCKING PLATE, WHY DOES IT FUCKING HEAT UP THE FUCKING PLATE WHEN IT'S SUPPOSED TO HEAT UP THE FUCKING FOOD, FUCKING PIECE OF USELESS FUCKING SHIT!!". Every time he'd use the microwave he'd reach in without thinking, burn his stupid bloody hand and then start screaming about it.

Do you want to be grounded for life?
Do you want the shit beat out of you??

I mean, seriously..who does? 😂🤣🤣🤣

My dad will say about someone say in Hollywood, that's rich or someone singing onstage.. "Yeah he's on the pipe." 😮 And I'd say "how the hell do you know, no he's not". And he says, "Yes I know, he is." 🤨

"Oh you read a book. You are so smart now aren't you?"

Mom would say, "go get me something to beat you with", i'd bring back the corner of a magazine page or an envelope!

When you have a kid... I hope he is just like you! Then you will understand!

🤔 okay, well let’s look at the logic here...

Not to mention I don’t have kids... 😂

Dad telling me this when I was young: You know, if you kiss a boy, you'll end up pregnant. If you rub tongues, you'll have twins. So be careful what you do.

I can’t remember any idiotic things they said but I have a whole repertoire of things I’ve said to my daughter (which she does occasionally remind me of)

You cant do this or that...you're too pretty

Mum: the queen wouldn’t kill Dianna..