Okay, so when you think that everything you're doing isn't good enough - that's guilt. But what would you call it when...

Because I'll have an utterly stunted future devoid of love or meaningful human connection if I don't find the answer to the question that's at the heart of my shit with my dad. And since I won't know what the question is until I find it's answer, I need to look at every corner of it, from every angle, in hopes that something will shake loose.

@BlueDiver: I think I'll reply to this in PM if that's ok?

Of course.

I like that.