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I thought calling him would make me feel better

All he asked was a bunch of questions.Like what I will do, how Ill raise a baby in the house.
All the many things I think about on a daily basis, but the last thing I want to think about before bed.

I know he means well.
But still.
He asked if it was consensual and I couldn't really tell him.
I haven't been able to talk about it over the phone as much.Its like a knot in my throat, and I almost cried my eyes out when I said it was consensual when I know its clearly not.But Im so confused and I hate myself.

I dont want to talk about it to him.
I feel like everything is falling apart and I just want to relax.I just wanted to forget a little bit before bed but I cant even do that

 
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