I still dont have any room for a baby at the moment. I was going to get a seperate area for myself on the property, but if that doesnt happen then things get complicated.No renovation=No room.
I dont want to do adoption.I can't bring myself to abort.Yet sometimes it's like I panic and want to abort anyways. Other times I just feel numb.Numb and then I break down..its hard because I was going to have a baby this August and miscarried them and I really really wanted to carry full term. Abortion is still an option but its hard to choose that because of what happened recently.
I also have to still live my life and Im super young.The baby is technically a rape baby, as bad as that sounds.People will look at me strangely for wanting to keep them and others will look at me strangely for wanting to abort.
You cant win with people.
And the sad part is I know my family will look at me the same. I can't go forward with anything because his family is influential and his sister is a lawyer....so I give up.
And I never thought of rape happening either.Because I figured I wouldnt change my mind.And I didnt.I got into bed with him so to me it didnt count as rape but he still made the decision by himself to take away the protection.
And he was quick to offer up marriage right after and now he wont leave me alone. Hes obsessive. I need to protect myself and them because hes been needling me and I cant hide a baby.
Moving out isnt possible right this moment.And I trust my aunt but have to talk to her about it.I feel she would understand me the most because shes my godmother and always been more of a mother to me.
to stay with temporarily until I get situated is better than staying here where he can find me.