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HairbrushDiva · 31-35, F
@Fantasyproject Thanks for the Best Comment. :)
Fantasyproject · 26-30, F
You’re welcome @HairbrushDiva
HairbrushDiva · 31-35, F
@Fantasyproject :)
Fantasyproject · 26-30, F
being vulnerable gives me anxiety @Rambler
Rambler · M
Yes..it should... love is when your heart tells you the reward outweighs the risk @Fantasyproject
Treat yourself the way an ideal mother would.
Towards others nurture their well-being whenever the opportunity arises, but first check with them what it is they most want or need.
Always consider the most likely long term consequences.
Love is that which consciously and willingly cares for the well-being of life.
From loving actions, loving feelings arise.
Towards others nurture their well-being whenever the opportunity arises, but first check with them what it is they most want or need.
Always consider the most likely long term consequences.
Love is that which consciously and willingly cares for the well-being of life.
From loving actions, loving feelings arise.
Fantasyproject · 26-30, F
Opening up completely makes me nervous but when I do it, I go into extreme control mode out of fear @hartfire
@Fantasyproject No need to open up completely straight away.
Open up in small ways first, test the waters.
Maybe have a general conversation with someone first. Lead the conversation in a certain direction. When there's an appropriate opening, ask a hypothetical question. See how they react.
Also, explore the other person's relationship history. Get a sense of whether they are judgmental or accepting, whether they are controlling or egalitarian, whether they ar clingers or avoiders.
If in doubt, hold back until you feel relaxed and comfortable with that person.
If you've known them for quite a while and still feel nervous, talk to them about your fears.
~
About extreme control mode - that's going to backfire on you everytime. As I'd guess you've already learned, well-balanced people won't tolerate lack of freedom, respect and trust - they know they have a right to it. The very act of controlling will cause them to abandon you - and that will then reinforce your fears of being abandoned.
So the only way is to exercise self-discipline and refuse to even try to control.
You can always make requests, but before making one, have a backup plan with which you can meet your own needs. That way, if they say no, it's okay.
You can also negotiate for agreements - but with passive people one has to be super careful. Very often they won't make their preferences clear, and that means there'll be trouble later.
Open up in small ways first, test the waters.
Maybe have a general conversation with someone first. Lead the conversation in a certain direction. When there's an appropriate opening, ask a hypothetical question. See how they react.
Also, explore the other person's relationship history. Get a sense of whether they are judgmental or accepting, whether they are controlling or egalitarian, whether they ar clingers or avoiders.
If in doubt, hold back until you feel relaxed and comfortable with that person.
If you've known them for quite a while and still feel nervous, talk to them about your fears.
~
About extreme control mode - that's going to backfire on you everytime. As I'd guess you've already learned, well-balanced people won't tolerate lack of freedom, respect and trust - they know they have a right to it. The very act of controlling will cause them to abandon you - and that will then reinforce your fears of being abandoned.
So the only way is to exercise self-discipline and refuse to even try to control.
You can always make requests, but before making one, have a backup plan with which you can meet your own needs. That way, if they say no, it's okay.
You can also negotiate for agreements - but with passive people one has to be super careful. Very often they won't make their preferences clear, and that means there'll be trouble later.
PrisinorOne · M
pm me and I'll teach you ;) <3
passion · 56-60, M
Chat with me!
FreestyleArt · 31-35, M
