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How do I control my anger during games?

I love playing football (soccer). People consider me to be a really good player wherever I go. They even ask me why didn't I try to go pro. Wanted to try and go pro but due to personal problems and lack of opportunity I could not fully pursue it. My biggest issue is my passion and anger. When I play I give my all whether its pick-up or a real game. I am unfortunately known for getting into heated arguments and losing my cool. Something I am not proud of. Outside the game, I am one of the nicest most gentle guys you'll meet. But in the game, I am a different animal.

I currently play in an indoor league. My team is 4-1 and in first place. Me being the highest goal scorer in the league with 10. In the last game we had, it was really heated and physical. Before the game we overheard the other team calling us trash because of our appearance. So we played like we had a point to prove. The ref was favoring the other team the whole game. Whenever I tried to talk to him, he'll just tell me to be quiet and play. I kept my cool for most the game but lost it at the end. I ended up screaming and cursing at the ref which resulted in me getting a red card. My other team mate also got a red and is the 2nd highest goal scorer with 9 goals. We ended up wining 8-5.

The ref threatened to throw me out the league because of my behavior and because he said I disrespected him. I did not mean to, but I was getting upset because he did not want to explain anything to me. Just kept telling me to be quiet and play. Me and my team mate ended up getting 1 game suspensions, we were about to get 3. Our coach was really disappointed in us understandably so. I accept the fact that I was wrong and should of kept my cool. I plan to apologize to the ref next week. I should of done it after the game, but I was still upset. I let myself and my team down. If we lose next week, i'll blame myself. I have anxiety and depression and deal with a lot of stress in my personal life. That does not excuse my behavior though. I notice when I am calm, I play a whole lot better. Just have to learn to keep my mouth shut. Maybe getting a girlfriend may help j/k.
Abbyrose · 22-25, F
Try not to get hung up on things after they happen, because it’ll only affect your mood and how you play. As soon as something good or bad happens you just have to be able to learn from it and move on.
kydflash · 31-35, M
@Abbyrose That's true, just have to learn to stay calm and keep a cool head.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
You sound like you want to be the best at this game. The one that people have to look out for. Just remember that you are not in control and focused when you are angry and out of control. Remember that others can use your anger against you and purposely make you angry when they know that you are hot tempered. Never let them see you sweat. Place your anger into your game. Let the coach fight the ref. These are lessons applied to real life as well.
kydflash · 31-35, M
@REMsleep True, well said. I am more of a team player. I don'try to be the best but just do my best to help my team win. I just have to keep my cool and not let people get to me, as you said. Thanks.

 
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