How to cope with GOOD BIG changes in life?

I am a very anxious person who likes to be in control of everything in her life. I grew up not having parents or a secure childhood and the minute I became successful and could take care of myself, I felt there a power and I grew out of this.
BUT this year is going to be a big year of changes for me. I am getting married to the love of my life and we are having a long awaited baby together. I have been looking forward to these things happening for a long time and I couldn't be happier. I do feel like, this anxiety is disabling me to truly enjoy these moments. Instead I stress over stressing,future finances,babies health,the delivery, my social anxiety for the wedding ceremony... It just all feels likes it happening at the speed of light and I am not in control of the future being unpredictable. So, whats your best advice on how to enjoy these moments? How do you calm yourself down? What do you say to yourself?

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NiftyWhite · 46-50, F

My wedding was also very stressful for me and i married much older, was financially prepared. Honestly i didn’t care about the wedding details - that wasn’t stressful - but having to go through the day itself seemed like a dreadful thing because i don’t like attention. My hubby on the other hand LOVES it.

It seemed like the weeks after the wedding i was also very stressed. I am not sure why but i was in a mild panic mode. I didn’t enjoy those weeks. overall the first year of marriage was very hard for me. I’m in my second now and it’s easier but there are other stressors now not related to my marriage that stress me out: I am starting to think anxiety is just a pervasive part of my life since my mom died a few years ago . I mean good transitions are stressful enough but losing a parent was life altering for me more than any other change.

This is a blurb of an answer. I guess my advice is, you can’t control everything. You don’t have all the answers at any age. It’s also OK to make mistakes. And don’t try to live up to other people’s expectations

Optimisticbird · 26-30, F

@NiftyWhite I'm sorry you had to go through these changes all at once. Good and bad... I think the thought of trying to make everyone happy is stressful because its almost impossible. Also everyone sharing their input and thoughts is annoying.

NiftyWhite · 46-50, F

yes. i did what i wanted and almost no one argued about it to my face. they complained behind my back.... but not to my face (ex. wedding stuff) @Optimisticbird

4meAndyou · F

I think you might want to talk to a therapist about your anxiety and control issues...AFTER your wedding. It is extremely common for children of dysfunctional parents to feel anxiety to such a degree that they become control freaks. I was married to one of them, and it is not a good experience. Before you begin raising a child, I suggest you address your control issues, otherwise you will drive your own child away.

As far as the GOOD things that are happening in your life, enjoy the hell out of them. Life is very short.

Optimisticbird · 26-30, F

@4meAndyou I like being in control of my life but not of other people. I have never tried nore wished to control someone. I do have expectations of people at times, but mostly end up disappointed. I admit this is not a great trait bc it leaves me feeling hurt and disappointed but I would never drive my kid away. Because of the fact I had these dysfunctional parents, I have learned what NOT to do. As for the enjoyment part, I am trying really hard to live in the moment but I do need someone to talk sense into me

ABCDEF7 · M

Live the every second of the moment. Time never comes back.

Best Wishes. 🙂

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Optimisticbird · 26-30, F

@ABCDEF7 I guess its because these moments came into my life rarely I feel so awkward and unusual enjoying them. Its difficult to explain... thanks for your advice. :)

ABCDEF7 · M

@Optimisticbird Hugs and take care..

May God bless you with every happiness of life.

Optimisticbird · 26-30, F

thank you... You too !

english · 56-60, M

dont lump them all together cos they wont happen that way take each one as it comes you get overwhelmed .🙃 congrats hun

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