Why don’t people value me?

So everywhere I go, for as long as I can remember, I have been referred to as ___’s little sister. (I’m going to spare my brother his privacy) I feel like no one knows me as a person and only as the little sister. No one cares enough to get to know me, and every time I engage in conversation with someone, they without fail always ask about my brother. They also never get my name right. It’s always “Meredith, or Madelyn.” It’s freaking MARILYN. It’s not that damn hard. Why don’t people view me as a freaking human instead of just __’s little sister? I hate it.

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MaryJanine · 61-69, F Best Comment

I hear you. For YEARS I was known as "Linda's little sister". I have a Christian name, but every first day when the teacher made up the roll, I had to spell the last name (11 letters) for them, and, even if I spelled the first name, I would get "Marsha", or "Marga", or "Margaret"- everything but my CORRECT name - all year around. It was bad enough I was named for Grandma, but I always thought it was an "old lady" name. I still do.

Cheer up, though.You can and eventualy WILL outgrow that "little sister" notation, as irritating as it might be. The eighth grade teacher in my old grammar school had both me and my older sister. We are seven years apart. The last time I saw this teacher before I made eighth grade myself was when I was I the second grade and my sister had to graduate summer school - she came to the ceremony and at the time I was a skinny seven-year-old. Fast forward to my time in eighth grade. Same teacher. When she got to my name, she didn't remember me, though I gave her the name three different times. Finally, I said, though I hated to do it, "Linda's little sister."

The teacher's face cleared. As she bent over her roll book to enter my name, she blurted out, "Boy...did you EVER get fat!"

Naturally, the class roared. I never heard the end of that all year. And I was not fat at ALL. I was normal weight for a thirteen-year-old. But teachers didn't care at that time (1968).

marilynmichelle · F

@MaryJanine I’m so sorry that happened to you. This helps, though. Thank you.

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

If it does, I did my good deed for the day. I never forgave that teacher for saying what she did...when she was built like a battleship and wore those godawful nylon/satin dresses that just emphasized it.

Prisoner619 · 26-30, M

you have to make your own name . Create a new social circle from scratch that doesn't include all these people who know your brother

kayoshin · 36-40, M

It's not you, it's him. He's too popular for your good :) Maybe you should also make some friends that don't know your brother.

marilynmichelle · F

@kayoshin I have a couple. But the issue is it’s most of the people at our church that have known us our whole lives that refer to me as this. It pisses me off.

kayoshin · 36-40, M

@marilynmichelle Don't get hung up on that, you're still young there will be many more things ahead to be pissed about, more important things. At least people recognise you it's still something. I was totally invisible till about your age, on the other hand I saw it as an advantage.

daisymay · 51-55, T

@marilynmichelle At church? I think I see the problem... I'd be willing to wager a lot of the women in your church are referred to as So-and-So's wife/mother/daughter/sister.

FurryFace · 61-69, M

people don't give a Flying Fuck for conversation unless they're making Money , they're more interested in thumbing their ipads or cell phones , seriously , sign of the times

monte3 · 70-79, M

As you get on with life you will meet more and more new people outside your group that don’t even know your brother. It will get better.
Or you could just kill him😊. (Just kidding, of course)

Subsumedpat · 36-40, M

That is more a reflection of who well known and popular your brother is rather than a reflection of a lack of value of you.

You are a child of the universe and no less than anyone else.

Spinner · 61-69, M

You need your own friendships.

marilynmichelle · F

@Spinner I have my own friendships. It’s just the people at church or anyone that knows the both of us refers to me as the little sister.

Spinner · 61-69, M

I’m also a younger brother. I’d say get used to it, it’s all they know.@marilynmichelle

SW-User

🤗

marilynmichelle · F

@SW-User ?

SW-User

@marilynmichelle Just trying to be nice.

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