Eh

thinking about not being alone someday. You know. I’m a true social outcast for real. I honestly feel so alienated. Sometimes I don’t enjoy the amount of weird in me but other days I try to embrace being “different”..it’s not always cool or fun you know. I’m 50% suffering and 50% not. My feelings are crushed. I’m caught in the middle. Sometimes I like myself, sometimes I don’t but I don’t wanna die or anything like that. Sometimes I just wanna disappear for a little bit so I don’t embarrass myself. Or maybe so I won’t be a burden to others.. Walking the line of life with boulders on my back. That heavy sinking feeling. The “I wanna give up” feeling but what for? There’s no point in giving up. That’s kind of the beauty of my situation right now I guess... I literally can’t give up. (If that makes sense, probably doesn’t.) .but I do wish I was more normal. Hm.
Just thinking, thinking, thinking.