I Am Working On Myself
How do I work on myself when in a relationship?
She is quiet... by nature. Until she isn't. Today I had to turn my ears up to hear her. She had money troubles. I sympathized. She was quiet. Smiled here and there, but not the eyes. I dropped her at work, kissed her, drove home. Her usual texts were flat today... if that is possible. Maybe they weren't... maybe I am simply projecting her earlier mood onto the brief few words pinging through my phone.
That's what I mean. How do I heal, grow, work on myself when daily brain space is taken up by a dozen questions about her and her feelings, moods, wants. Is she happy? Am I happy? Could/would I be happier if...? Did I do/say something wrong? IS this as good as it gets? Is this the life I want? When will I know?
And these are just the daily swirls of chaotic questions as they pertain to my relationship... Then there is being a dad to two teenagers, a disabled veteran, a son and brother and member of a community.
Ugh...
She is quiet... by nature. Until she isn't. Today I had to turn my ears up to hear her. She had money troubles. I sympathized. She was quiet. Smiled here and there, but not the eyes. I dropped her at work, kissed her, drove home. Her usual texts were flat today... if that is possible. Maybe they weren't... maybe I am simply projecting her earlier mood onto the brief few words pinging through my phone.
That's what I mean. How do I heal, grow, work on myself when daily brain space is taken up by a dozen questions about her and her feelings, moods, wants. Is she happy? Am I happy? Could/would I be happier if...? Did I do/say something wrong? IS this as good as it gets? Is this the life I want? When will I know?
And these are just the daily swirls of chaotic questions as they pertain to my relationship... Then there is being a dad to two teenagers, a disabled veteran, a son and brother and member of a community.
Ugh...
