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I Love My Best Friend

’ll start by saying this, I’m 19 years old, in college, have very close friends... but I still struggle with bad social anxiety daily. And I hide my major depression issues that include suicidal thoughts, and previous self harm issues. (I have a lot of problems). Due to these issues, I have an issue with dating. I build walls with people and just don’t let them in my life, or I get friendzoned purposely...

I have recently realized that there is a girl I’ve never felt so many emotions for and felt so attracted to someone in my life!! Words cannot describe her; however, there is a catch. She’s my best friend. I put myself into the friendzone but didn’t think this would happen. I like her so much that I told her to date her current boyfriend who I know isn’t a good person!

I’m afraid of ruining the friendship, especially because she has a boyfriend, but it’s killing me emotionally that I have all this on my chest that I want to tell her, but I can’t because again, I don’t want to ruin my friendship.

Do I tell this girl how I truly feel, or do I let her go and just isolate all the feelings I have for her. I really want to tell her how I feel, but I need her friendship in my life as well!! We are not even dating and I feel almost like I’m in love which is bad!

 
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