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Happiness is a Choice - Hope and Faith Give Us Power

Why do I sometimes lack "empathy" (I don't).

You will see in my responses to a lot of negative emotion posts (well the non-political ones) an attempt to draw someone away from emotional thinking to logical thinking. Emotion is somewhat uncontrollable and if destructive you need to control it. Just let it sit and move on top of it with the superego.

If it is good..you just go with it. But if it is bad, you have to logically pull yourself out. You have to alter your thinking from inside. With this in mind, I do not necessarily attempt to respond back to your emotions, I try to get you to become stoic about them, to try to master them. Logically, you can analyze your emotions and place "hope or faith" over top of them. Or at the very least, decrease your ego suffering by realizing how little you mean with your insignificant suffering compared to the universe (but at the same time you mean so much as part of an amazing universe).

Reading Buddhism is really helpful in learning how to do this. One of the best books I have read is "The Art of Happiness". For depression a book called "The Depression Cure".

Remember, you have to take responsibility for your own happiness. You need to control what you think. For what you think is the sum of your existence. Every function of your body and what it registers is a receptacle to your brain. Your brain (thinking) is you, master it.

If you have a Borderline Personality Disorder. Self talk is one of your more important weapons. If you brain is broken chemically, you have not choice but to correct it with chemicals. However...personal understanding and control will help with every situation.
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Peaches · F
@Fernie swirlie has run off to hide, hahahaha!🏃🏻
Peaches · F
@Fernie I KNOW?! I've never read all his ranting, the sick ass [b]cretin!!!!😁[/b]
Fernie · F
@Peaches HA!! "cretin"

Penny · 46-50, F
thinking logically is great but at the same time i dont think all emotions or feelings are all ego driven. I do agree though that a Buddhist approach is very helpful when dealing with emotions and I personally love that book the Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama. I do think happiness can be a choice and anyone who says it isnt just hasnt done the mental work to understand that. not saying that everyone has to be happy despite whatever their circumstances may be but a little gratitude can go a long way too.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@Penny I see what you say about all choices aren't ego driven, but I believe at certain points we have that control. It there is no control, then it is purely a chemical reation.
Penny · 46-50, F
@okaybut do you mean aren't?
okaybut · 56-60, M
@Penny yes
revenant · F
That is only partly true. When other people hate your happiness every 5 minutes during the day it is very hard to maintain a balance. When negative energies are constantly attacking your core, you need more than an armour.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@revenant Then the 5 minutes people have to be removed?
revenant · F
@okaybut I want to , I want to, I want to, I am exhausted emotionally and physically by those vampires.
Morrigan · F
I prefer to follow more along the lines of happiness should not be your end goal. It is one of many human emotions we feel, and it is normal to feel so much more than just happiness. If we always strive for so called happiness then we set ourselves up for failure, and a constant circling back around to find what we think we should be feeling all of the time. Effectively setting ourselves up for failure. It's okay to not always be happy. Positivity and controlling our thoughts does not mean power over anything, it really just means we are running away from everything it is to be human. Just my thoughts. :)
okaybut · 56-60, M
@Morrigan I agree with what you are saying. It fits with thought as I see it. Good thought, thanks.
RedBaron · M
Easy for you to say when you probably haven’t dealt with incurable conditions such as bipolar disorder, that stem from abnormalities in genetics as well as brain structure and chemistry.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@RedBaron I hope a solution is found.
RedBaron · M
@okaybut There are medications for it.
AliceInBlunderland · 36-40, F
I must unfortunately disagree with the idea of happiness being a choice. How one feels and acts towards a situation is based on experience and how one learns to cope with it but, happiness in and of itself is not a choice unless you are somehow able to delude yourself into not seeing the reality around you for what it truly is.

If one were to be born what most would consider a freak with poor health and spend their entire life used for what little they are worth, abused and abandoned by those who should have been there for them while they themselves are left with nothing left to truly live for while in constant physical and emotional pain then I can see no reason for said person to live let alone be happy with the idea of anything other than death. One can hide their feelings from others but they can never escape them in a healthy way without the exception of a major life improvement which may or may not be possible or a memory wipe if ever possible.

Please don't get me wrong, I will always believe in self improvement and it may still be possible that said person may be helped in the future and even find a reason to live and be happy but, I myself just cannot believe that one can be truly happy regardless of the situation just based on positive thinking alone.
AliceInBlunderland · 36-40, F
@okaybut Perhaps I will but, I honestly don't like talking about my personal life so I intend to avoid such topics.
Carissimi · 70-79, F
@AliceInBlunderland I agree with you. Happiness ensues, it is not a choice. Meaningful engagement, having purpose, feeling loved, cared for, and supported, giving love and care to other beings all brings together a sense of equilibrium and peace and contentment. If you are missing these life giving qualities, then as Rumi said, “ life without this beautiful love is nothing but a burden.” I can attest to this.

Positive thinking has utility under certain circumstances, but it’s not the be all and end all of the pursuit of happiness, which actually cannot be pursued. Happiness ensues. There is fake happiness, but that’s not happiness, but many think it is. If one is trying to be happy, that’s not happiness. Better to look for more positive experiences in daily life than be saying, “I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy,” trying to convince yourself of an untruth.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@Carissimi Well said. :)
Carissimi · 70-79, F
From a different Buddhist perspective, I see things differently. The emotions should never be negated (or dismissed), they will fester in store consciousness, and express themselves in other (damaging ways) at a future time. An emotion is an aspect of being. It is the “hurt” part that cry’s for loving kindness and attention. Think of it as you would your child (or friend) who needs comfort and reassurance. Listen to what it has to say, and feel. As Herman Hesse said, it is not the emotion that causes the most pain, but our resistance to it. I’m paraphrasing. 🙏
okaybut · 56-60, M
@Carissimi Oh...I agree with you. I need to edit my story if this is not coming through. I am not saying negate, deal with them; but do not allow them to consume you. All pain must heal, but the path in my view is not always directly with the pain. Sometimes you can heal around it (the pain is a symptom) and the pain will heal as well.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@Carissimi Altered to the word "analyze"...
Coralmist · 41-45, F
Great post.. and great topic. I think though, that emotion itself is an intelligence. Not merely an uncontrollable entity. There is logical, factual intelligence and emotional intelligence. I think emotion can be critical in one's life, being able to discern what another is thinking/feeling or anticipating another's behavior. ONly thing is this type of brain activity took over my life and made me feel that 'I' needed to watch out for what others do or feel mostly and not the other way around.. you begin to put all your own needs in life aside when you do become emotionally involved with people and what they do /need/want. Well, when you do it a lot I mean. I think having a balance is great and I'm learning that. I really liked your point on mastering your brain. To try to figure out what thoughts will filter through and within it. But i think you only have so much control. They will come no matter what (neg. or pos. thoughts) and I think also our reaction to them is key. One of my fave. quotes ever is by philospher Byron Katie, 'Whatever you believe is true, and nothing is true, believe it or not. ' It has gotten me through worries and anxiety I've had. AGain this is a wonderful topic and thanks for sharing !
revenant · F
good perspective. People are all different I see; some are more controlled by logic and the mind and some by emotions and some by..etc.
Emotions make us too close to people and environment at times. Logic and the brain is about creating distance as well as ponder.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@revenant Yes. However, logic can also bring you closer to people with a sense of compassion.
revenant · F
@okaybut yes..but compassion is mostly felt not an award winning article at least to my view.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@revenant Yes, but you need a clear mind free of bias and prejudice. The need to logically understand that we are all mostly the same.
Peaches · F
That's right, we can decide to be happy or miserable...I choose happiness!💕💃Great post, I hope more people read this.🍀
okaybut · 56-60, M
@Peaches Thanks. :)
Unsatisfiedstace · 51-55, F
I have been attempting to find out how to do this for over a year! Thank you for the book recommendations.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@Unsatisfiedstace: Your welcome. Both books are awesome and I read a lot over the years...these truly helped me. Hope they do for you. :)
Amen. Yes and thank you. I needed to read this tonight. I was in need of an attitude adjustment
okaybut · 56-60, M
SW-User
Not everyone is able to do this, and there are some times when expressing emotions (even so-called negative emotions), is healthy.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@SW-User Definitely I would agree. But as soon as you can, you have to let them go.
Fernie · F
you are the furthest thing from a Buddhist...you taint it
Peaches · F
@Fernie As you see Fernie, when swirlie gets caught he deletes his posts...just like he did on RTT.👎🏼Sick asshole!!!!😡
Fernie · F
@Peaches Absolutely! It comforts me to know that spineless jellyfish like him (them) are ALWAYS unhappy people...karma baby!
Peaches · F
@Fernie You said it sister!👍🏼🗣 Okay, I'm gonna block this "okaybut" dude because I'm sure who it REALLY is now....👾
ScarletWitch · 26-30, F
Im glad you can remain positive
okaybut · 56-60, M
@ScarletWitch It is thought. You can as well.
Jentlemen · 46-50, M
ok Camus, chill
okaybut · 56-60, M
@Chamango: ☺

 
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