I Have Doubts
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Having doubts already about this guy I'm crushing on

Hmmm. He seems to kind of run hot and cold. Which I don't like at [i]all[/i]. 馃

I mean, I'm not clingy. I don't blow his phone up, I don't demand his attention at all times. I give him 100% space when I know he has his daughter with him. I try to respect that he has a life and things to do. Buuuut...he is sending mixed signals I think.

He will tell me he is so into me, tell me all the reasons why, then he gets all weird the longer we talk and he starts saying stuff like "I need to slow down, I need to chill, I'm being too much right now." Etc. And then he won't talk to me for days.

This doesn't seem normal. Idk.
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geoam151-55, M
He's trying to not rush things and scare you away
MarineBob56-60, M
Hes scared also
He is scared, very likely.
But that doesn't make for very stable foundations and you never know when he will bolt because he got scared.
DearAmbellina211336-40, F
[@44604,Aidolovemostofyourthoughts] that's what I'm kind of afraid of. 馃槥
This message was deleted by its author.
Jessichaos22-25, F
He is nervous of scaring you away by being too forward. Dude is shy and that goes away with reassurance.
fun4us2b61-69, M
Talk about it - if you can't talk now best to move on...
marsbarF
I think you need to ask him what this hot & cold business is all about. Ask him if he needs more space, but tell him it鈥檚 not fair to you that you don鈥檛 know where you stand with him. You don鈥檛 sound clingy at all, so you have a right to know.

It鈥檚 obvious he has feelings for you, so maybe he鈥檚 finding it hard to control his feelings.

Once you get things out in the open & communicate honestly, then you鈥檒l both know where the other stands.
TheSunisout56-60, M
He is probably testing you.
DearAmbellina211336-40, F
[@11430,TheSunisout] what's the test?
TheSunisout56-60, M
[@831314,DearAmbellina2113] To see if you will not leave, seeing if you will hang in there trust, before he let's himself go on you, or he just wants out.
LunarOrbit56-60, M
He might have other irons in the fire.
DearAmbellina211336-40, F
[@488176,LunarOrbit] possibly
HatterM46-50, M
I wonder if you have many guy-friends who might hazard an interpretation of this? Apparently men and women get confused by each-other's ways all the time, though I think a lot of guys might be able to relate here. Just my thoughts.
Livingwell56-60, M
Hmmmmmm 馃
DearAmbellina211336-40, F
[@350414,Livingwell] ???
Livingwell56-60, M
[@831314,DearAmbellina2113] I think he's either a player or very impulsive person. I know how I'd act...consistent.
DearAmbellina211336-40, F
[@350414,Livingwell] hmm. 馃
Stereoguy56-60, M
Sounds to me like he likes you a lot! He seems afraid of getting to attached to you for fear you will dump him an crush his feelings.
BalmyNitesF
It鈥檚 perfectly normal 馃槉 Guys pull back when they sense you鈥檙e more invested than they are. Fill your time with your own stuff, don鈥檛 wait around to hear from him, let him see you lead a busy life, so it will be more quality time when you talk. He isn鈥檛 鈥渟ending mixed signals鈥 - he鈥檚 told you he鈥檚 鈥渟o into you鈥, that doesn鈥檛 mean he鈥檚 committed. It just means he likes you & wants to get to know you more. You say he 鈥済ets weird the longer we talk鈥 - that鈥檚 because he panics & wants to put the brakes on if he thinks things are moving too fast. So YOU end the conversation after a while, leave him curious about you & wanting more 馃挏

*Whatever you do, don鈥檛 have the 鈥榯alk鈥 or question him about where you stand/where things are going etc - he will run a mile. It鈥檚 early days, enjoy each other鈥檚 company but don鈥檛 dive right in head first- keep a little mystery
DearAmbellina211336-40, F
[@561899,BalmyNites] I don't think he's worried about me being "too invested". He's always saying "I wish you would let me in" and "don't shut me out". He knows how guarded I am emotionally.
BalmyNitesF
[@831314,DearAmbellina2113] It鈥檚 all about polarity, once you understand that, you鈥檒l find it so much easier
DearAmbellina211336-40, F
[@561899,BalmyNites] yeah I don't bug him a lot. He almost always is the first one to initiate contact, and he actually moves a bit faster than me lol.
He is probably scared and wondering what you think of him and how you feel about him having a daughter things like that
DearAmbellina211336-40, F
[@4018,ExperienceDLT] he should know all that. We talk on a pretty regular basis and no subject is out of bounds.
[@831314,DearAmbellina2113] just take your time with it guage each other out and go from there
Iamonfire66631-35, F
Maybe he doesn鈥檛 want to rush it since you just broke off your engagement last week?
Iamonfire66631-35, F
[@831314,DearAmbellina2113] I know he knows because you have mentioned it. You asked why he was getting hot/cold. I would say that would have something to do with it. No one wants to be anybodies rebound.
Raymuundo41-45, M
Every situation is different but this looks like a rebound. [@10165,Iamonfire666]
DearAmbellina211336-40, F
[@551863,Raymuundo] well considering we met before my engagement was ended...I wouldn't call it a rebound. It's a friendship-turned-more type thing.

 
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