Tomorrow I am going to take in a deep breath and march over to Cute Library Guy...

... And out of nowhere I will trip over my own feet, knock him over, scattering all the books around us, to which a book will fly through the air and thump someone in the back of the head, causing them to snarl and a child to scream.

I will then proceed to stammer, trying to scramble to my feet while lying on top of him.