In my opinion, self-awareness is the most important part of it. If you're doing what everyone else is doing, following trends or whatever, but you genuinely enjoy it and do it because it makes you happy, then you're doing the right thing. The harm comes from people who never both to think about whether or not they're doing it cos they like it, or if it's just cos they're told it's what to do.
@CestManan It reminds me of all the red pill types who trash feminism but then love Emma Watson when she takes a selfie and captions it with "All men are sexist."
@Tracos I'll be honest, group identity can be a lot of fun sometimes. Even if it's a little bit silly, it can be enjoyable and meaningful to take part in something that everyone else is doing. But exactly like you said, it's only worth it if you enjoy that thing for yourself, because you like it. If you're doing it solely for the experience of "fitting in" then it's nothing but a farce.
@BlueMetalChick if you do it for fitting in its still a conscious choice.. .it gets way worse if just is a thoughtless habit to follow a carefully crafted commercial personality
@Tracos Now that's a really good point. If you intentionally do something to fit in with your peers, you're still aware of what you're doing, and that's leagues ahead of doing stuff without thinking about it just cos you never thought there was anything else to do.
@CestManan Well that's the thing, if you're inconveniencing yourself, then it isn't worth it. The whole point of it is to be fun and enjoyable, and to feel comfortable. If you're having to make some kind of effort that turns into a bother, then what's the point? It's self defeating.
@BlueMetalChick There ARE people who think it is important to fit in and come hell or high water, they will try. Like people with 5,000 friends on social media.
@CestManan Oh absolutely there are. In fact, I think there's more people who "fit in" out of a feeling of necessity than there are people who do it because they sincerely like it.
@BlueMetalChick That's the question; do we do the things we do because others are doing them (mindthink, groupthink, peer pressure) or because we think for ourselves. I think it requires some investigation and a bit of being willing to analyze ourselves.
@MsAlaineEYes I think back to when I was in middle school, and high top sneakers were all the rage. And I liked that, because I already like hi-tops. I think they look cool and they're comfortable. I would have worn them even if they weren't fashionable at the time. But even so, I did enjoy that they were so popular. It was pretty cool to get a new pair and wear them to school and compare with your friends which brands and colors you each had.
But like you said, the primary focus is personal. At the same time as hi-tops were in, so were flat brimmed baseball caps. And I don't really like those so much, so even though they were popular, I never wore them. I think the decision to wear a flat brim in spite of not liking them would be a good example of what people do all too often when they don't think for themselves.
And a bit of a brag here, I had THE coolest pair of hi-tops in my entire school. Everyone had the Vans, the Converse, the Osiris, the DC, of course Nike too. But I had a pair of Moby sneakers from Penguin brand. And they were the fucking star players lol the first day I wore them, all my classmates were floored.
