I picked when I didn't mean to but yet I didn't.

I was just about to leave for work. Got caught in a reflection I shouldn't have seen. And was locked in my mind for 2 hours. I was late to work for 2 hours!yet I didn't hurt myself pick. I picked clean the bad spots if that made sense. And then it no longer hurt. And I put a bandaid on it. But it was raining pretty bad. So I am a real mess right now. So I feel back to square 1. But not in the negative. Because I didn't aggressively break the sore in and cut it up like I usually do. So relapse. With no progress yet with some progress. I should of never looked at myself. But if I didn't it would feel like it's actually healing. But I'm just obsessed to fixing this thing.