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Why do they consider dicipline abuse now?

You literally cannot do anything. Even non physical dicipline. Make your child do extra chores... Aboose...... Say no, Aboose...... Ground them, aboose,.... Take privlages aboose....... How about the Karen's let parents be the parents.
MissKimmie · 36-40, F
I do disagree with quite a bit of it, but at the same time, I do understand it. It's very common for parents to punish poor behavior, but never reward the good behavior. Or for parents to believe children are not entitled to an apology if wronged, etc. After so many generations of toxic parenting, masses are trying to combat that to the extremes now. Parents should not yell or cuss or punish in anger. But Punishments should absolutely be a part of parenting.
MissKimmie · 36-40, F
@Rosiechick13 it is. I'm probably a bit stricter than most parents, actually. But I'm always reasonable enough with it that my kids will always know they can come to me. There needs to be a line between being so overbearing they hide things, And being so lenient that they don't respect rules and authority. They get punishments at times, they get rewards at times, but so long as they're receiving love and support through all of the times, they'll be alright.
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@MissKimmie exactly I'll never forget the day my sister bold faced walked up to my mother and said I need a condom. Everyone at work turned white (she's a pretty strict chef) and they were scared and silent waiting for her response. She said absolutely but we are gonna sit down and talk in the dining hall. And walked out with her. She asked us to wait till 18 bit supported us if we chose not to
MissKimmie · 36-40, F
@Rosiechick13 I'm fairly strict about what my kids can or cannot do. Like if they ask to go to a party, I may very well say no. But let's say they did go to a party. I've made it very clear to my older kids that if they're ever drunk, they need to call me instead of trying to drive or get into a car with a friend from the same party, and they know the punishment wouldn't be so bad that it's worth the risk. And for sex, all they have to do is ask for a condom. I'll always suggest they wait, but at the same time, I'll make sure they know how to be safe and have the resources bro do so. Even if I say no, they'll still do it, so I need to make sure they're safe about it.
SW-User
I was grounded , I was sent to my room , I got things I didn’t need to survive properly taken off me such as toys , I had to do all the chores in the house for a punishment and all that did was make me responsible for my own actions and learn you don’t get everything handed over to you. My childhood wasn’t bad , I was responsibly happy and I didn’t hate my parents because of it. It’s not abuse it’s teaching them they have to respect people and they have to learn from their mistakes. If you give them their basic rights such as food and clothes and school supplies and self care products , make sure they have an good education , make sure they feel supported , give them a good home , make sure they feel loved , Listen to them and their problems so they can trust you , protect them to a certain extent not to a controlling extent , teach them basic life skills not lecture them then I’m sure they will turn out fine and discipline is just apart of life and it’s better than being in jail or dead from doing dumb shit or turning into an complete idiot.
Doomflower · 36-40, M
I have never heard non physical discipline referred to as abuse unless it was something like withholding food or education.

There is over 50 years of research into human development that overwhelmingly concludes hitting them does not lead to best outcomes. At BEST it gains short term compliance and relieves the parents stress/frustration. At worst it can result in some serious trauma. So best not to do that.

However I agree that grounding a kid and taking their iPad for a couple hours while they do chores isn't abuse.
Doomflower · 36-40, M
@Rosiechick13 That is nuts. This is why I don't have kids!! I would probably grab them so hard in a situation like that I'd break an arm in panic. There's no winning.

I am a neurotic wreck. I wouldn't want a kid growing up with me as a role model.
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@Doomflower the fact that you feel that way would make you a fantastic parent. Often the ones most scared that they are doing it wrong are the best
Doomflower · 36-40, M
@Rosiechick13 I've been told that before. I wish I wanted to have kids.
Chevy454 · 46-50, M
Yes!! Exactly. Punishment is “think about what you’ve done” what a joke.
AnthroKenji · 36-40, M
Can thank these people
SubstantialKick · 31-35, M
@AnthroKenji Wow, that is just sadistic. They need to be locked up for life and never see the light of day again.
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@AnthroKenji there is a huge difference between a tap on the behind and beating a child to death, or taking a phone, or saying no
Because some people don't know how to be parents, I don't believe in spanking your children. Until there is no other option and don't do it when your mad, that's when most want to do it and go over board. Or they drinking and that should be a no no, wait until your sober. Any ways that's what I think.
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@Justiceforall yep count to 10 then react. And I'm the exact same way!
Lynn1976 · 46-50, F
According to a friend of mine who is a child therapist:

Time-out is the equivalent of public shaming;

Sending a child to their room is no different than solitary confinement, which is banned in some prisons;

Grounding is restricting a child's freedom and is counter-productive because it only creates feeling of resentment;

Taking away an things of comfort such as video systems, etc take away the child's ability to "escape" their stresses and issues, therefore is abusive; and

ONLY gentle reasoning should be used at any age. If the child is not reasoning it is because the parent is not trying to reason properly or themselves is being unreasonable.
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@Lynn1976 yea that's just simply not true . Had my parents of tried that I would have laughed at them
Lynn1976 · 46-50, F
@Rosiechick13 I agree wholeheartedly. Sometimes I was a sneaky little brat and the only reason I didn't do somethings sometimes was because I didn't want to risk a spanking. I should have also thought that way when I shoplifted! 🤣
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@Lynn1976 I want to get the app that does the jail begining call. when I'm visiting a friend out of state 😂 then say I got arrested and see what my mom does. At the very least she'll have a week to cool down
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
Who is “they”? The children, the children’s peers or the “experts”?
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@cherokeepatti "experts"
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Rosiechick13 Then they are actually trying to break up families especially the relationship between the children & the parents in order to have the government become the parents. One reason I believe they are having pre-K classes, they can indoctrinate the children easier when they get them that young, try to replace parental teaching too.
aboose of the papoose.
SW-User
I read the article.

You can’t read one article and complain the whole world calling your actions abuse.

Nobody is the perfect parent.... all of the bad stuff they talk about is what we do when we are pushed past our own limits. Just like kids... we can make mistakes too.
Pherick · 41-45, M
Thats literally not true at all.
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@Pherick the point stands. I actually have friends who refuse to dicipline their children in any way shape or form because it's bad to say no. I've had a pediatrician ask if I was limiting the use of the word no and I literally laughed out loud and said "she's 2 what do you think". Time outs are considered emotionally damaging by many. Taking items is considered in appropriate because apparently it's their personal belongings .... Even if I paid for it.....
Calling these things abuse is rediculous
Pherick · 41-45, M
@Rosiechick13 I can't speak for your experience, but I have a large group of friends, all have kids, and none of them have experienced or done anything like "limiting the word No".

I don't think any group that matters thinks the things you mentioned are any form of abuse.
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@Pherick sadly many people in my area do. It's absolutely insane
SW-User
I have not heard such things.
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@SW-User it was the nurse. Our actual Dr is amazing
SW-User
@Rosiechick13 Still... that type of thing can be taken too far. Imagine if your kid broke their arm (or even more than once). That woman would gladly step in and say you're abusive.

I only know about the broken arm thing because my kid did break his left arm more than once (both times at camp... different camps). They would have me leave the room and ask about an abusive home.
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@SW-User good to know
NankerPhelge · 61-69, M
Who are "they"?
Rosiechick13 · 26-30, F
@NankerPhelge https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/g4804/bad-discipline-advice/&ved=2ahUKEwjqgLaXj-LqAhWRnOAKHYCUBPgQFjAQegQICRAB&usg=AOvVaw1dLpqme0M12X0pL-PFGq5U

 
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