Who Can Relate? Anyone Out There?

It's 1:45am out here. I'm on tour with my choir and I'm in Florida with them. The weather is perfect, the music is fun, and it's just a great experience overall.
But man am I lonely. I tried joining this one weird dating site as a last-ditch effort to try and meet people, hoping that it would become something more, or that anything would come of it. But nothing has, just bots and scammers sending me links, leading me on.
And I can't sleep. I'm hating myself because I know that lusting like this is wrong. But I don't think I'll make it past 30-these suicidal thoughts are so pervasive and invasive and I don't know how much longer it'll be til I give in. I don't remember the last time I wasn't this way. I don't think it'll ever change. I'm lonely and longing for affection and I know this sounds desperate because it is, but I don't know who to talk to about this anymore or where to go about this so here I am again in front of another screen.
Thanks for reading this, sorry it was so long.