How do I gain confidence without being arrogant?

I've never been a confident person. I've always held myself back and not had much faith in myself. I'm the polar opposite to my older brother, which I guess in a way is why I lack confidence so much. He is always brimming with confidence, but to the point where he is arrogant and cocky. I never want to be like that because sometimes it's really knocked me down the way he has acted. I just want to be able to be sure of myself without hurting others.

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curiosi · 61-69, F

Arrogance is thinking you know everything, confidence is knowing you don't know everything and being ok with it. Remember we are all doing the best we can here on planet earth and we all mess up and that's ok.

Carissimi · 70-79, F

I’m beginning to think confidence is more to do with genetics. I could be wrong, but working on self improvement for over 30-years hasn’t made a difference to mine. What might help, to a point, is focusing on others, and the activity at hand. If you can lose yourself in the moment, and be truly interested in others, it can help in some situations because you forget about yourself, and how you appear to others.

AuRevoir · 36-40, M

I think it was user KarmaLives who posted something about the difference between ego and self esteem, with self esteem not being in need of applause by others. Or something along those lines.

So I'd look up self esteem help tutorials online if you could.

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

I just started accepting that its ok that im weird and that people dont judge me as harshly for it as I do. Personally i dont feel like being arrogant so i never end up being arrogant.

ViciDraco · 36-40, M

Learning to laugh at yourself can be a huge help

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