when did you realize your bestfriend wasn’t your bestfriend?

@AmbivalentFriability That sounds like a lame friend.

@Stark They're usually really smart and thoughtful. It sucked to get that as a response when I asked if they thought it was wrong to be gay. And we had previously talked about how the bible had been changed and heavily edited over time. I had hoped she'd say something else, I guess.

@AmbivalentFriability That reminds me of my friend. He didn't accept anything or anyone based on outdated crap from Islam in my case.

@AmbivalentFriability I was in a relationship with a guy who felt it was wrong to be gay, but his sister is gay, and they were really close and still were close regardless of how he felt about her sexuality. So, he felt really conflicted and confused he told me. I don’t think we’ll ever all agree on everything, but if that’s the only thing that ended the friendship and she truly is a good friend regardless of her opinions on certain things sometimes ending a friendship isn’t always the answer. For me, it would depend on how extreme it would be. If they were hateful and treated someone differently simply because of their sexuality then I wouldn’t want someone like that in my life. Although, if they simply just disagreed with the life style, but they were still respectful it may not be enough for me to end the friendship. I’ve always been a hardcore supporter of the gay community, and there has always been someone in my life who doesn’t support it or agree, and it’s not always practical for me to just end the relationship from that one choice alone. I would at least talk about it first if you haven’t already. Considering you’ve stated she’s a good friend, but it’s definitely all up to how you feel.

@Stark People that can't accept that not being straight is totally okay and normal are a part of what keeps homophobic attitudes from being considered unacceptable. They choose to not push themselves to understand.
If I wasn't queer myself, it would be different.
I can't be friends with someone who chooses to believe that a significant and natural part of who I am is "wrong".
It isn't a lifestyle as much as being straight isn't a lifestyle.
With all the hate and shame surrounding sexuality, I need my friends to stand by me. I won't tolerate their mere so-called tolerance of my "lifestyle".

@AmbivalentFriability I understand that it is definitely different with you being queer yourself.

@AmbivalentFriability And importantly, being a religious homophobe IS a lifestyle choice.

@AmbivalentFriability I didn’t mean to offend by saying lifestyle. I’ve just always heard “life style” being used so it was the first word that came to mind. Lol I wouldn’t consider being straight any different than gay like I’d both considered them a life style originally 🤣 I’m just ignorant so I wasn’t trying to offend by saying life style or say being gay is any different than being straight. @CountScrofula

@Stark lol sorry I didn't even said you had brought it up in the first place.

People say life style to imply that sexuality is a choice and not an intrinsic part of who they are.

@CountScrofula gotcha ! Well I definitely am aware sexuality isn’t a choice. So I guess I just misused the word 😬😂

@Stark It's okay you're navigating a minefield of social cues and terms you wouldn't think twice about and the only way you learn is by having awesome people like Ambi to talk to :D

@CountScrofula I don't know if I'm ever helpful in these conversations 😅 I want to be better informed so that I can be.

@CountScrofula @AmbivalentFriability Well, there are times where a lot of people just don’t know or are truly unaware. And I think as a community we do have that option to educate them a bit and make that little change. It’s obviously not anyone’s job or responsibility, but I think it does make a difference. 😀 I know it’s not exactly the same situation or deal, but as a black person there have been and are a lot offensive things people have said ignorantly around me without even realizing it or not being unaware and thinking it’s okay just from not being aware; especially with me living in the south it’s actually quite common. Not to say it’s okay, but A lot of the time it’s just due to ignorance and not being educated on the matter, and I definitely can make that bit of difference by changing that. Like, I always thought “queer” was offensive, but seeing you describe yourself in that way it’s obviously not. These are touchy subjects and can get weird, but I think for you especially being a queer person you have that option to make a difference. We all can of course, but you have an even more advantage by expressing exactly how you feel about the situation. I learned a lot just from you expressing your feelings on the matter. So I think you were very helpful.

@Stark Not everyone in the lgbt+ community is comfortable using the word queer since it used to be used to refer to us negatively in the past, but a lot of lgbt+ people are using it as sort of an umbrella term for being not straight and/or cis-gendered.

@Stark I totally get what you mean about people sometimes just being unaware that what they're saying is probablematic. Being expressive about that makes me really nervous, I worry a lot about the backlash.