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Why aren't we really consoled unless the ones that actually hurt us in the first place console us?

Human minds I say🤷‍♀️
MaryJanine · 61-69, F
I consider it confusing - if someone says something really hurtful or hurts you physically, then consoles you to get you to stop crying, it leads you to believe your tormentor really didn't mean it.
MaryJanine · 61-69, F
Most human beings know when something they're going to say will hurt the person in question. If they know it, then why did they even say that? When I was in high school, a girl I thought was my friend, came up to me one day at lunch, and began, "I don't want to tell you this because I know it's going to hurt you..." and on from there. It turned out she had been delegated to tell me girls we both knew were criticizing my school clothes (they were out of style by at least seven years) and why didn't I go out and get some "in style" things? (My parents didn't have the money to buy me anything, and I knew it, which is why I wore them.) But she made me cry anyway, and then she said, "I didn't want to say this.."
TheIncredibleHulka · 31-35, F
@MaryJanine that was really very rude and unkind. I don't think the girl you mentioned here did it as a slip up in a moment of anger and if she didn't want to hurt you she shouldn't have said it so cool-headedly in the first place. Most times when people are angry they do want to hurt you.
MaryJanine · 61-69, F
What really hurt me was that I thought we were FRIENDS. Friends don't tell friends such things.
SW-User
The mistake is in looking to anyone else to ease internal conflict when it is only us who can fix it. Only a fix by ourselves can be a sustainable one.
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SW-User
@remindjeff I'm not talking about therapists or support mechanisms, I'm talking about looking to the person who hurt you to fix you.
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
Some people carve a special place for themselves in our hearts. When they are genuine, when their love or friendship is real, this is a beautiful, wonderful thing. But when they aren't genuine, they can tear us apart by becoming abusive, if they know our vulnerable spots, or leave a terrible hole by disappearing from our lives. It can be very hard for anyone else to fill that hole, because we felt that we had something special, something unique, with that person. And sadly, the heart doesn't always know the difference between those who are genuine and those who are fake.
Rokasu · 36-40, M
Uhhhh... I console myself cause fucker who did it ain’t gonna give no fucks.
Rokasu · 36-40, M
@Rokasu This is why y’all ain’t getting laid.
TheIncredibleHulka · 31-35, F
@Rokasu wait who needs those fuckers when you've got so many of you?
TheIncredibleHulka · 31-35, F
@Rokasu I like that you got each others' backs. Bros before hoes!
Heysmellthis · 36-40, M
No way. Waiting in that could be detrimental yeah I’m sure it would be quite consoling but consolidation comes one way or another we just have to accept it if it’s not how we wanted it.
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TheIncredibleHulka · 31-35, F
@remindjeff only if they did it in a moment of anger and really cared enough about you.
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JohnOinger · 41-45, M
@TheIncrediubleHulka So what do you think Of Jason Momoa & Would You Do Him

 
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