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How do you feel about the “unsend” feature some apps have for messaging?

If you’re unfamiliar, both Instagram and Snapchat (those are the only two I know that have this) allow you to unsend a message. So, you can message someone and if you decide you don’t want them to see it, you can unsend it. Both apps also tell you when a message is deleted - with Snapchat, it’ll say so in the chat you’re having with the person. On Instagram, you get a notification that a message was unsent, but it doesn’t specify who sent/deleted the message (though you can see previews of messages without opening, so unless you get a lot of messages it’s not hard to figure out).

Is this a good thing? Personally, I have mixed feelings. I can’t imagine too many scenarios where it’s used with good intentions, but I could (and have) see it used out of spite to stir up suspicion.

I also had a recent experience with it on Instagram. A guy had messaged me and commented on a photo I took with my cat, and we messaged back and forth briefly about it. Then he sent an obviously flirty message, and I didn’t open it (only saw the preview). I just didn’t feel like dealing with the whole “I’m sorry but I’m not interested” speech at the moment. Then, I got a notification that a message was deleted. I checked, and sure enough - it was that flirty message. So I asked if he had sent something, explaining that I got the notification. He denied it, saying “Instagram is weird sometimes,” even though I had seen the message. He proceeded to act like nothing happened and try to change the subject. And so, I see how this also enables dishonesty, which isn’t great.

Overall, I think it’s an unnecessary feature. It doesn’t erase everything, it still notifies the person that something was deleted. So, you can’t take back your words entirely. I think it’s best to just own up to what you say - if we can’t take back our words in person, no point in doing so online.

Sorry for the long post. To summarize, some social media apps allow you to delete messages sent to another person before they view them, though they are notified of it. Does this have any actual benefit? Or is it just encouraging people to not own up to heir own words?
SW-User
I think it's a good thing. I just don't wanna accidentally send a nude to my friends when I'm trynna send one to my bf, ya know what I'm sayin? Looool
KatieKatze · 22-25, F
I cant necessarily relate to that.. but I see what you’re saying. However, I don’t think this applies to actual snaps on Snapchat. Which is then interesting, because if you can delete a message in chat, you’d think that’d apply to snaps too.
Doomflower · 36-40, M
I don't think he was being dishonest in a hurtful way though. He probably sent the message and realized it was not going to receive a favorable response and unsent it, then denied out of embarrassment. He may also not have wanted the awkwardness of being rejected to ruin talking to you.

I can totally see the usefulness of such a feature. As with most useful tools it can be misused.
KatieKatze · 22-25, F
I don’t think he had bad intentions, but I do wish he would’ve been honest. Owning up to mistakes and accepting them is better longterm than distancing yourself from them.
Doomflower · 36-40, M
@KatieKatze agreed. He doesn't know you that well though so I can understand why he would do that.
Starchild1983 · 41-45, F
I think it’s a really great feature! They should have it for texts too
Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F
Whatsapp has that feature too.. I like it.. of course you know the other person has said something and you can usually take a good guess at what it is.. but.. if they have changed their mind for whatever reason, that's good enough for me :)
KatieKatze · 22-25, F
My biggest problem is when the person won’t own up to it. Just as in this situation, the guy completely denied everything. If you want to take something back, I get that. I just wish people were more straightforward with it.
Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F
@KatieKatze Yea I get that.. but, put yourself in his shoes - when we do something we later think we shouldn't have.. we feel embarassed, ashamed... stupid.. so more than most are going to try to pretend they didn't.. Human nature
KatieKatze · 22-25, F
I have deleted messages before, and I always regret it. I always wish I would’ve just owned up to what I said instead of try to forget it. I do understand that not everyone is like that, though.
496sbc · 36-40, M
is never do that ever. if i mag someone it’s because i want to know or talk or see how they are

 
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