Any funny sayings from your grandparents?

My grandmother used to say "the more you fight, the more you love"...in a heavy eastern European accent. I'm not sure how true it is/was...but it sounded sweet.

“Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya”

"Organ Recital"
When elders get together and complain about their various ailments.

“They don’t know they’re ass from a hole in the ground”

"The sink is a whore and it never even finishes" by my grandma 😅 when we say "finish" we mean orgasm in my language

My grandfather used to say “Remember....patience is a virgin!”.

If they don’t come, they don’t have to leave

My grandfather loved to tease. When I was eleven and my tiny boobies sprouted out for the first time, he asked me, "What are those, mosquito bites?" And it was he who cautioned me not to swallow any watermelon seeds, because if I did, a watermelon would grow in my belly. 😉

I've heard alot of the ones mentioned. I use to be told that my foot don't fit no limb when I would fuss about someone doing something I didn't like. The meaning is I don't have any room to talk. I at least I took it as that and went away
But getting a switch on my legs

Something that translates to

Granny:

" if god didn't like boobs he wouldn't have created them. Don't be ashamed and flaunt your beauty!"

"hug and kiss, but leave your 😶for the groom"

“the more you know, the faster you’ll age!” it was always my grandmothers way of saying stop being nosy.

That's a good one, my grandmother always called water Adam's ale

My Grandmother (Dad's mother) lived with us. Whenever we kids got into trouble (alone or together) and were threatened with a spanking, she would jump in with, "Treat 'em all that way! Give 'em more trimmin's than eats!" I was extremely embarrassed when she would encourage my parents with this one.

"if their not home, we'll poop at their door." when the host is not home we would want to visit them. sounds better in my language also " the mouth beats the butt." when someone is talking shit about you, you shouldn't care, like if you'rea bad person, gossiping a lot your mouth is shittier than your butt if ya kno what i mean.

Always marry a dumb woman

Granny used to say, "A face only a mother could love, in a dark ally, on payday.", and her replacement for cussing was, "Son of a biscuit eating basketball player!", or "Jimminy Christmas!".

Does - clacking false teeth count as a meaningful saying -

"Keep your ears and eyes open, and your mouth shut."

I like this, and it's so true