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Husband griping at me to pick up after crazy week?

Soo.. Im in this really weird spot in my life. We just had a baby 10 months ago. Husband was ALSO fired from his job about 4 months ago. I have not nagged once about him finding a job, but have decided to take things head on. I was making about 60k per a year. Started looking and low and behold I have now been offered and taken a job for 105k, making me the breadwinner. Because of this, I have not nagged once about him needing to get off his butt to find a job but instead have encouraged him to relax and enjoy his time off, bonding with our daughter and what not, dont worry ive got the bills. Well.. Things are stressful for me. I just started this job, working often 12 hour days. Just about everyday to be honest. Its nuts, but im doing it. I ALSO had to this past week travel for work, very far away for the whole week. I came back Friday and went to not 1 but THREE family events for him Friday, Saturday and Sunday - Essentially leaving me with ZERO recovery time. To add to this, I have caught what im pretty sure is the flu but guess what.. im powering through it. Well.. He has the nerve to text me this morning telling me I need to help him clean the house. Im like What?!.. when I was on maternity leave I cleaned and organized.. every.single.day. And him saying that to me just made me flip my lid.. Telling him he should be cleaning, should get off his but and go look for a job etc.. I admit maybe I was harsh.. But.. Am I totally in the wrong here? Im not going to lie, I did say some things like he just sleeps all day (which he does, and then complains that hes SO tired).. AND our house IS a disaster - But I honestly haven't had the capacity to get it together. I'm really disappointed and just looking for an opinion on this situation. Anyone ever experienced something similar? Am I being out of line?
Hobbitual · 46-50, M
I was a stay at home dad for a bit when my wife made more money then me. We now have our own business and are equal in all that, but a the time for a few years there I considered taking care of the house my JOB. She had hers and I had mine, I would do all the cooking, most of the cleaning, school functions, Scout Leader, etc. I worked as many hours as her so we both respected each other for our roles. Sometimes just sitting down talking about each others responsibilities can help. He either needs to accept his new job or he needs to find a better paying one then yours so you can quit, but he can't have both. But I know as a dad I found it much easier to take over the home life when I looked at it as my JOB and not just normal household duties. Then I could actually take pride in my work.
Lackwittyname · 51-55, M
I think you have every right to be pissed, he needs to figure out how to contribute. This said, maybe check if he is battling depression, if he is sleeping all day, claiming he is tired, not doing anything, I am guessing there is a case of depression that maybe he should see someone about.

If that is not the case I would lay down some clear rules for him on what is expected.
Harriet03 · 41-45, F
Show him your post hun!
Pherick · 41-45, M
If he is not working, then guess what, his job is taking care of the household. Sounds like a bit of a whiner, complaining that his full time working wife isn't cleaning the house enough.

You aren't out of line at all.
SW-User
you guys should stop texting

 
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