How do you get someone to open up to you?

So you know those people who you really want to talk to, and you can tell they really to talk to you too, but when you go out you have a lot of silences and things are awkward and you're just not hitting it off so you end up just staring and laughing at each other and talking about the weather? And then you wonder how you guys even because friends in the first place and its so unclear and you just really want this awkwardness to stop and you want to genuinely get to know your friend better but you don't know how to start?

[c=#7700B2][b]I have prefect duty with this friend tomorrow, so I get to stand in the same spot with them and pretend to actually care about the school rules for 30 minutes. Help me break the ice and this awkwardness?[/b][/c] Because as much I like hugging them and acting like super close, our word flow doesn't [c=#BF0000][i]flow[/i][/c] and it gets worrying like eventually things are just going to be genuinely awkward and I don't want things to get to that stage.

I don't have this issue with anyone else ok I really don't understand my situation. It's not like we don't have anything in common, but argh.

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SW-User

I'm like the friend you describe, I have the same problem and don't know how to handle it

It's like I wanna say to her "say something, I'm giving up on you"
I feel vbad, but I just don't know how to break the ice

I hope things gets better between you and your friend :)

firelaw · 22-25, F

@SW-User aw man, yea, for me, I share a lot with this friend, like my songs, my past, and stuff like that, which is generally what I do with close friends, and we got really close, but then I feel like I do most of the talking and I want her to share more ahaha, but with most new friends I make they always open up to me super fast, and I don't understand why in her situation its different. I can't read her either, like every day I find out new things through observations that come as a shock to me about her personality (they're not bad, just unexpected, the type of things that if I told people no one would believe me because she doesn't seem like that, like "on no way she can sing" that type of thing (although that's not something that actually happened))

She's not very close to a lot of people either, like she has friends but no proper clique and ends up significantly alone sometimes, because shes caught in an odd part of the school social fabric, and she goes home straight after school each day, doesn't really hang out with people. so I know this problem is coming from her side, but I want to engage with her because I really care and shes a really kinda and good person but idk how :- /

Been watching a lot of youtube videos ahaha trying to find some sort of solution. Istg if tmr all we do is hug each other and smile and talk about how cute the cat is I might just go to the theatre room later on and scream my frustration out.

I think you shouldn't give up on your friend either aha, we can both pull through this!

EugenieLaBorgia · F

True friendships are slow to mature before they blossom.

firelaw · 22-25, F

@EugenieLaBorgia it's been like, a solid month though, we got really close in mid-sept during a school trip

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

Love them and they will

firelaw · 22-25, F

@MartinTheFirst Of course I love my friend and we're quite close, but a lot of the things we share with each other is very surface level and superficial and we even communicate better over text than in real life. which is so odd, I've never had to deal with a situation like this before I'm quite puzzled in terms of how to deal with the situation.

SW-User

@MartinTheFirst How?

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@SW-User people automatically open up to people who show affection.

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