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relationship in bad place.. can it get better?

When my husband and I first met we were so in love. We’ve been together 5 year, just had a baby.. and although we had our share of disagreements before the baby.. it seems like all of a sudden, 6 months after baby has been nothing but criticism “you are just like your mother” “you don’t care about our daughter” “you’re body parts (after baby) look weird..um..yahh’..”you are messy”/“looks like you you-ified he car” aka it’s messy...you lose everything” “your just destroy everything you touch” “your face looks weird after baby” (melasma) anyway it’s these constant character criticisms..I’ll admit I still have 30lbs to lose after baby and I feel ugly as hell.. but these statements hurt.. and tonight after asking my husband to get me more baby food because I think baby is still hungry .. he told me I put him down in front of our daughter too much.. and I get what he saying.. I really do.. oftentimes I disagree with what he’s saying and do correct him...but after all the character critisisms I’ve beeb getting lately, I let him have it after that last comment.. I’m getting to this point where I feel like he’s made me out to be this messy, demanding, not attractive (he says he does but after all the body criticisms I cant imagine he finds me attractive anymore, based on the stuff he says) wife.. and I know I’m not those things.. I am totally still attractive and I care a lot about other people, and I’m nice and hardworking, polite, kind hearted.. my question is..there is apart of me that doesn’t want to be with someone who feels that way about me.. should I give this more time, force us to go to counseling? Can our relationship get better after having been in such a horrible place? We are also dealing with lack of affection issues.. it’s just a totally negative relationship.. we’ve had slot of talks saying we’d go to counseling and it’ll get better but..I don’t know.. Im worried we can’t fix it..Anyone have similar experiences they can share?
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GlitterBug · 22-25, F
Counseling would be a really good idea. You can’t expect someone to give birth to an actual mini-human and still look the same as before, there’s gonna be some changes. That doesn’t mean you aren’t still hot af, it means you bore a life. Not only that but you wouldn’t have gotten this far with the baby if you didn’t care about her so that’s a bit ridiculous too. He is abusive and an outside opinion may be able to make him see this. If he won’t change then you’d be raising your daughter and wasting your years with someone who is unhealthy. I think it’s possible to repair the damage but only if he’s willing to participate. Best of luck to you, and you sound like an amazing mother, keep being awesome.
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
@GlitterBug Love this thank you so much for your response. Really helped me.
GlitterBug · 22-25, F
Of course. I’m glad I was able to help, even if it wasn’t much. :) @Brassm0nk3y