Parents self centered, wealthy, don’t want to visit or help with baby

Just had a new baby. We have a pretty good life. We are middle class but very financially stable. Husband is attorney I’m upper management in a Fortune 500.. Parents are close to being billionaire wealthy.. (crazily, they don’t help us with a single dime and haven’t since college) truth is they are SO obsessed with money and wealth they don’t even want to come over to our “middle class house” (which I think is actually amazing..) they make horrible comments about the neighborhood it’s in, would never sleep in our spare room “ew” (again all normal beautiful middle class type that most other parents would be proud of). They just want us to drive an HOUR to their ritzy house and lug all of the baby’s stuff, stay all day, drink wine, and drive an hour back.. we also work full time..they don’t.. my mom takes it so personal every time that we don’t want to come there to hang out all day at there huge house and the country club etc.. saying that we don’t love them , see you next decade, all of this horrible stufff..when we call them out it just seems to escalate the situation.. I told them we couldn’t take a trip to Paris because i have no PTO because of baby (3 months at the time) and they made it out to be like we don’t love them.. anyway.. it’s really toxic ..We truly are exhausted by end of week trying to take care of a baby and work full time.. the thing we need the most is for them to come and help here and spend time with the baby here.. not go there and lounge around at the country club all day and get drunk on wine at their mc mansion..gossip, y’all about trips around the world, remodeling (but yet I drive a at that’s falling apart) and I don’t know what to do.. I really need family help (even if it’s just time, not financially) and their commitment to not wanting to come spend time out our house, and help us watch her a little is hurting their relationship with their grandaughter and us... their reponse to that is well “that’s your decision not to come over and spend time with us” My husbands family (who is borderline poor) has started to step in and come over to help and watch the baby, help financially too and now my mom is BEYOND jealous ...calling them trash and all this stuff... making me out to be a bad person for liking them..can someone please relate? Are any of your parents self centered/messed up like this? Anything you did to make them see the error of their ways ? Or is it a hopeless cause.. experiences/advice would be much appreciated. Is it me? Please don’t tear us down we are already in a tough spot