I brutally attacked a strawberry.

Was it an immature strawberry? Did it understand what you were about to do to it?

Pac Man and his wife eat them so no biggie. Now go attack a cucumber-yes-use your imagination with that one.

You will never see the light of day again. Or something like that

Oh, you molested it? Now, it will never end up in a fancy pie!!

So did I but it was self-defense it had chocolate on it

do you live in california /?

Not as long as there isn't any evidence left 😁

Didn't your mother ever teach you to not play with your food?

If you did anything less we’d have to jail you

No. You have to be a cereal killer

not if you eat the evidence

Totally.