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How to stop feeling bad, guilty?
When I’m on social media, not much, I find myself not liking my cousins posts of her new baby. I was supposed to be part time nanny for her...but she got another, a stranger barely known a couple months. I used to sit for my cousins friend, and when an emergency occurred with the child I was unable to go in ambulance with him as I had his baby sis inside. The friend chastised me beyond anything even though he was safe and getting help... my cousin knew of incident and barely said much, I felt no support....so now I’m sure she got another because she listened to the friend or fears an emergency....I’ve been nothing but loving and safe with ANY child so it hurts she got another nanny.... I don’t have it in me to hang out now or like her posts.... how can I not feel guilty anymore ?
36-40, F
1
16 replies
30 views
Mar 5, 2018
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Mamapolo2016 · 61-69, F
By recognizing you made the best decision you could at the time and that’s all anyone can do.

By understanding guilt accomplishes nothing and offers nothing and is pointless, even if you were wrong.

Maybe by going to your cousin and asking straight out why you weren’t chosen...you might find she thought the other sitter needs money more, or fits better into her schedule or any number of things.
Coralmist · 36-40, F
[@663519,Mamapolo2016] I know I was not wrong, as many nannies and daycares send a child in ambulance alone if it’s last measure...their health is being attended, the mom meeting on other end...but my cousin being a new mom is not thinking any of it...and to get a stranger who COULD potentially hurt her child, God forbid, it hurt beyond words she chose another...maybe she did need money but, she talked to me twice about doing it...to ask her is anxiety producing because she NEVER wants to talk of intricate things besides light formalities😞thanks for ur advice...feeling guilty that I don’t see her anymore does nothing...appreciate that M🕊
Mamapolo2016 · 61-69, F
Yes...those people who don’t want to talk about unpleasant things can put a barrier up... good luck!
aaatheaaa · 31-35, M
This is really knone of my bussiness an I don’t want to get involved
Serenitree · F
[@663519,Mamapolo2016] Are you saying I'm like a fire. Not a bad one though? Right? A nice glowy one in a fireplace.
Mamapolo2016 · 61-69, F
[@4431,Serenitree] you scared me for a minute with ‘are you saying’ ... yes, the fire that tempers and cleanses and warms your toes. That fire.
Serenitree · F
[@663519,Mamapolo2016] 😊
Timelessdays · 31-35, M
Realize that you made the right choice for you....have you tried talking about it with her?
revenant · F
maybe you are too much of a people please..or she tried to induce guilt in you.
Wilbury · 46-50, M
Forgive yourself and move on
Wilbury · 46-50, M
[@562099,Midnightmist] I wish everybody was as kind and gentle as you but that’s not the world we live in. I think you’ve punished yourself enough. Show some of that kindness and generosity to yourself!
Coralmist · 36-40, F
[@2011,Wilbury] Thanks W, but they’ll , my fam, act like I’m a bad guy, and twist how they made ME feel 😞
Coralmist · 36-40, F
Essentially if I no longer see or talk to her IM The bad guy now...when it was her indifference that hurt me... oh well u are right can’t please everyone, including, family...thank you[@2011,Wilbury]

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