Husband is becoming a mooch but I love him with all my heart

So married the man of my dreams.. he's amazing in so many ways. Extremely smart, hard working, sweet as can be, does most of the household chores, funny as hell.. he's an attorney and he does make a good living.. but he's paying things like student debt, credit card debt, car payment and rent.. by the time the month is over it's like he never has any money.. as a result I end up paying for just about EVERYTHING.. he often tells me he's going to pay me back and doesn't (I know because he gets behind I get it) but I'm starting to get resentful... we are pregnant and expecting a child in December and I've been trying to save save save but it's impossible with all these things popping up that I end up paying for (which he never pays back). How do I handle? Do I get mad and threaten? Do I just let I blow over and keep giving it my best effort to stay afloat (because life's to short)? Need advice... apart of me wonders if he's just taking advantage... his dad does that to his mom.. she's worked like 60 hours a week while he just stays home and drinks all day.. so apart of me wonders if he's just trying to push and see how much I'll pay/taking advantage.. but the truth is I don't know and would find it so hard to believe if he was ... just need advice please

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SW-User Best Comment

I don't get separate money for married people. Seems very...non-married. I share all of my money with my wife and don't see it as giving it to her.

AlphaPuppy · 26-30, M

@SW-User exactly what I was going to say about my parents, I thought having a joint account was the norm with people who are married

SW-User

@AlphaPuppy My wife and I joke about buying each other drinks. "Hey, this round is on me." I guess whatever works, but just seems odd.

StevenIzzi · 51-55, M

@SW-User Hell, my wife does not work and yet I get the allowance. hmm..

We have 1 bank account and I paid off her student loans...there is not a his and hers money.

She takes care of our 3 kids, manages the money, pays the bills, and makes sure that we have what we need for date nights etc.

She has the tougher job and yet she does not receive a paycheck.

SW-User

@StevenIzzi We sound similar. My wife works part-time but raised the kids (now as teens). She deserves a raise. That job is brutal.

StevenIzzi · 51-55, M

@SW-User I agree that we do. My kids are 11, 9, 7. They are all in genius programs in school (I sure hope nobody ever does a DNA test as I hope I can take credit for some of that). She is a superstar to be able to handle all the finances, the laundry feeding all of us, making sure that the kids doctor and dental appointments are scheduled along with everything else.

SW-User

@StevenIzzi That's a fine family you got there!

StevenIzzi · 51-55, M

@SW-User ty my friend. Being a father and husband is the best job I have ever had.

Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F

That sounds great. My husband would never let me work part time lol to take care of our kids. I guess it sounds like you both paid for a lot and don't think of it as my money.. you think of it as "ours" I could try to word on a mindset shift. I'm just having trouble not feeling resentful. Can work on it. Thank you for the advice much needed@SW-User

SW-User

@Brassm0nk3y I hope you work it out. I can't speak for Izzi, but I would suspect he would agree with me that's it not up to us to "let" our wives work part-time. FYI, no marriage is perfect.