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Do you want to be in a relationship with someone?

I think I'm just really scared of being in a relationship because I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt anyone else either. I'm also extremely proud and stubborn about being independent and strong. Which is important and you should love yourself first. Also I'm not conventionally pretty. I'm not skinny or in shape. Also I feel so much and am so open and my face cannot hide my feelings at all. I'm not into sports but I'm not an introverted video game player either. I am just in the middle of everything. And I'm worried what people think of me because I don't want to be used but I still want to be accepted. And at work I don't want to be immature and cross a line.
I am so scared of becoming abusive like my dad and I am scared of not having any support system.
And I'm sick of getting butterflies for people and not having the courage to ask them out or the butterflies to just stop.
I don't even know if I want to be in a relationship with someone because I know that I don't love myself completely. Also I don't want to enter into a relationship for the wrong reasons. I don't want to be in a relationship just because someone else does.
I tend to jump in and then run away.
SW-User
I would like to be, as long as it was with the right person. I'm not afraid of hurting someone, however. I consider myself pretty considerate. That isn't to say I don't have my own doubts, however.

My biggest concern that I won't be able to fulfill her desires. I'm quite introverted as well as socially anxious, so going out in public and being amongst crowds is something I'll always resent. My ideal partner would have to be willing to prefer quieter outings and activities.

I'm also asexual, which means I never really think about or care for sex. That's something that would probably cause a lot of strain for someone that wants to feel sexually attractive and stimulated. I'm willing to work at it, but it's not something that will manifest itself spontaneously.

Aside from that, I don't have family or friends to speak of, so all my attention needs are going to fall upon that person. I'm aware that that can make me prone to neediness, which I try to avoid with mixed results. It's going to have to be a delicate balance for me between caring too much about someone and being too closed off. I don't really know how to pull that off yet.

Anyways, I think it's a good thing that you're aware of your fears and your tendencies before going into a relationship. It will give you things to look out for and to work on. If you go into a relationship without wanting to grow and become better, that relationship will eventually stagnate. I guess we all have our crosses to bear
SW-User
oh boy i definitely know how you feel.
SW-User
ive never been in a relationship. its been so rare for me to fall for anyone.. and its hurts getting hurt by another person or if you have to break it up because you dont feel anything towards the other person as things had changed or that person had changed. idk if ill ever be in a relationship and i dont fool around either.
Pimpedcheerios88 · 31-35, F
Yes! Me too. I have tried dating but it never works for me. The pressure is too much. I usually am pretty blunt but when it's dating, I have trouble in the moment. I don't fool around either because sex to me is so vulnerable.
MrBrownstone · 46-50, M
Just keep doing what your doing!👍🏻
Yes I would like to be in a relationship with someone some day. But I am in no hurry
RedRider72 · M
once my current relationship has terminated, I will not be pursuing another..

 
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