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Any views or mantras to LOWER my intimidation of men?

I need something I can quickly think of when attempting to get OUT THERE and meet up/hang out etc. Something that could lessen the fear I have that BECAUSE of my anxiety, I'm less. That I'm not enough, because of my PTSD. Any ideas on what to remember when Im about to decline dates/choke? 馃槦
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I get it. Luckily I鈥檓 gay... but I have no answer. I鈥檓 so sorry. *hugs my friend*
[@562099,Coralmist] Love you too. You are important to me. Made me feel like I had a home here, when so many people were just mean. Thank you so much.
Coralmist36-40, F
[@605647,DarkHeaven] Aww likewise!! You're always so uplifting, thanks D鉁岋笍馃尭馃槍
[@562099,Coralmist] #AlwaysAndForever

Notanymore36-40, M
Remember that we're more scared of women than women are of us....
Coralmist36-40, F
[@519030,Notanymore] Thank you, truly. I not only grapple with my intimidation of men but ALSO that I myself are not enough. So saying I'm beautiful or have a good heart meant so MUCH. Thank you, friend 馃尯馃馃尮
Notanymore36-40, M
[@562099,Coralmist] you know that it's all true, and holding yourself back is denying someone very special something great.
Coralmist36-40, F
[@519030,Notanymore] Thank you 馃尰
HauntedWitch56-60, F
Maybe you could try to focus on what you want and what's good for you, instead of thinking of what you are or what you deserve, if that makes sense.
Coralmist36-40, F
[@1139259,JohnnyNoir] I really appreciate that 馃拹馃
goodlil66651-55, M
[@562099,Coralmist] Also remember that we are all broken in some way, not just you. So who ever is asking you out has there own demons to.
Coralmist36-40, F
[@662514,goodlil666] That's true, thanks. I rarely think about how others do have flaws, not only me. Thanks 鈽锔
JohnnyNoir61-69, M
Just repeat...鈥滿y milkshake brings all the boys to the yard鈥 over and over
TexChikF
If a man is asking you out he is putting himself out there big time. Imagine his heart being in his throat hoping you say yes and give him a chance to spend some time with you. You are getting what you want if you will only step out of your own way.
TexChikF
[@605647,DarkHeaven] [@605647,DarkHeaven] yep...Lack of sleep is the catalyst for all that plaques you now. If you could sleep, you would be able to gain ground on your issues
TexChikF
[@605647,DarkHeaven] Its ok, your friends all know and understand.
[@113373,TexChik] 馃枻
Oster1M
One of the best things you could do is join a Community Service Organization of like minded individuals. This is the ultimate training ground for you and if you can master this, the experience will take you anywhere. They are usually good people with good hearts and common goals and professional and all walks. A great mix. Great connections.
It is a perfect way to work on your people skills and interrelationships, confidence building , finding your own shining niche, speaking ability, social skills, etc. I have spent my whole life in these and can help you.
Learn and practice here before the purely dating game. It will help you immensely in so many ways. I guarantee you!馃槉馃尯
Oster1M
[@562099,Coralmist] I know that I can help you. There is no doubt. I only want two things in return.

That you listen and at least try, even if you may not understand at the time.

Secondly, that you begin to see a change and become even more motivated to do the hard work, now feeling that you will overcome and succeed as you begin to enter this cycle of work and rewards.

I have given you a lesson to work on tonight and tomorrow. The key is to sit in a state and envision this taken place in your mind, like watching a movie. It will become much easier as you start to see. Keep re-reading what I wrote over and over but visualize it. Envision every aspect of it. I鈥檓 actually hoping you will dream about it tonight. If you try hard enough and listen, it鈥檚 very possible and would be absolutely excellent.

I will have another tomorrow. I will also tell you what I do. I think you will understand more. Please try to concentrate. It鈥檚 very important that you start tonight. There is NOTHING more important tonight. NOTHING! I wish you well and I will be sending mental messages as well to you, tonight. You have to believe in this. It鈥檚 a very sound technique.馃槉馃尯
Coralmist36-40, F
[@400392,Oster1] You mean visualize saying get out to the fear, or of being bold with a guy?
Oster1M
Like I just wrote to you, leave guys, dating, anxiety, etc. away for now!I want you to re-read everything I wrote tonight in the order I wrote it. Your lesson tonight centers on everything I wrote about THE DEMON I need you to only concentrate on that tonight and tomorrow. You must keep repeating everything until you are clearly seeing this in your mind and emotionally feeling it. You need to believe that it is happening and you literally feel it. It will take practice but it will kick in. Never be frustrated. You need to be relaxed and receptive. Any questions, send to pm. I will answer when I can.

Tonight is all the things I wrote about the demon. You have to feel every word, culminating and screaming out in rage into your pillow. When you shower or bathe, do the same at the top of your lungs without scaring others or neighbors. It must be REAL. You are letting that rage and hate for the bully demon, out of your heart, mind, soul.....your hellish life! Eventually, this will all make sense. You will actually feel the improvements![@562099,Coralmist]
Dolimyte36-40, M
"If I bail, his face will never be between my thighs"
Coralmist36-40, F
[@1999,Dolimyte] That's trueeee 馃槶
Oberon156-60, M
[quote]Men are worthless pigs. Men are worthless insensitive pigs.[/quote] Repeat until calm self confidence is restored,
Coralmist36-40, F
[@615618,Oberon1] Oh wow. I don't know if that's true .I know many can be selfish, and want only sex too, but many ARE humble, kind and trusting.
Oberon156-60, M
[@562099,Coralmist] I'm just playing the cynicist's advocate.
AussieWhisperer100+, M
Fools & silly boys judge by looks alone, if they are so blind to see the beauty within... they are a waste of time.
Oster1M
YOU CAN DO THIS!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

YOU WILL DO THIS!

YOU WILL DO THIS!
toddr1341-45, M
Do you meditate? Regular meditation can help you practice your best self in so many ways. Perhaps use a guided meditation or a brainwave frequency meditation, such as Theta meditation for healing. Anna Wise did much work in the area of brainwave research, and The High Performance Mind book and CDs are great. Amazon music has The High Performance Mind series to stream with prime, so you can try out her Theta program to see if that helps a guided meditation.

There are also other guided meditations that would work well as an adjunct to go within and calm the mind, resolve the conflicts that cause you to shut down and not process information as the intuitive, smart, and capable woman that you are. You are she, as she is within, but needs to be awakened and have the inner turmoil silenced to express her in the world around you. Regular meditation will help to let you go within and allow the negative chatter to silence itself.

Just yesterday, you posted a victory over your anxiety here, and I do not think you realized it. When your A/C flaked out and the car had an issue, you stopped the car, waited a rational amount of time, tried it, and safely motored home! That sounds like a smart, resourceful woman to me, one who is not crippled by fear and anxiety as she would be by the side of the road having a nervous breakdown. You assessed the situation and provided a reasonable solution, and overcame all fear and anxiety, realizing that the worst problem would be calling a tow truck and a repair bill. But, you persevered, and did not give in to any fear or anxiety around the car. Then, you asked for some suggestions and got some excellent replies from other ladies here (and some guys), but resourceful ladies who plugged into your higher self who overcame the anxiety and rationally and calmly explained the situation. Sounds like a pretty calm, confident and rational person to me! So, celebrate the victories, because I bet you didn't even see that innocuous post about your car having a blip as being a victory over anxiety and fear, but it was one. Don't let the negative self talk take that away from you because the cloud of fear wants to take center stage -- turn the spotlight on the victory!

Then take the energy from that victory and apply it to other life situations that may cause anxiety. Take a deep breath and assess the situation, and determine the best path to success. You can do it!
Coralmist36-40, F
[@22121,toddr13] Aww thank you for truly caring words about my situation with the car the other day. Thanks so much for saying I'm intuitive and resourceful. I did not think of that event with the car as exhibiting my mind being calm and not having anxiety. Ty for that correlation 馃尰馃悶馃
toddr1341-45, M
[@562099,Coralmist] You're most welcome. Sometimes it's only a shift of focus to realize that you're already living the life that you want, just that there are areas that need practice to expand that influence in all situations. But, since you already do these things, the challenge is expanding that influence into other areas of life. 馃榾

 
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