Seeing someone you care about with someone you don’t like sucks... I wish I didn’t care and part of me doesn’t even

Understand why I do care . There’s nothing I can really do except watch and feel my heart turn to stone and my throat go dry. I’m jealous. It’s sad. It makes me angry. I feel confused as to why I’m not part of that life...I should be happy that they’re together and they have each other, but I’m not.. Maybe I shouldn’t be happy. I just want to be happy bc that’s what I feel like I’ve been told to do.I’m not happy for them. I don’t need to be happy if I’m simply not happy....Again, there’s nothing I can do except wish that they would fall apart.. Do things happen for a reason? Or is all alignment chaos?