Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Is it ever a good idea to be friends with your ex?

Honestly want to do the right thing
Primnproper · 56-60, F
I stayed on good terms with my first husband as we had children together and he was their dad it was important for him to remain a big part of their lives..but once they reached 18 we no longer needed to have that contact..
will999 · 70-79, M
Hello msoreally93. I agree entirely with JQuest7575, it depends on the EX. In the first year after the birth of our second child my wife had an affair. I began to suspect it because of mounting evidence there was something going on but she denied it avidly. We had daily arguments from then on until she left abruptly moving in with the prime suspect on the very same day. After our home went under the hammer I paid her a generous share of it saying you're free now to go your own way and said goodbye. I paid child support until both of our kids finished school and became able to support them selves. It is difficult to let go but it is impossible to live with lies and cheating. I became a weekend parent for 15 years and I'm still on good terms with my two, now adult children. She had another child with the boyfriend who then dumped her. Last time I spoke to her she said to me she wished we could be friends again. I am tactful not stupid. My motto these days is don't cheat those who trust you, don't trust those who cheat you.
will999 · 70-79, M
@Peaches Hiya. Sorry, I did not mean 'happily ever after in the fairy tale sense. I meant happy enough to stick it out and work together to make the most of it. To do the most that they can together and see how they go. Send me a heart or a brief reply when you read this. If I am home when the bell sounds I will hear it and come to the computer. I can only guess which time zone you are in. Due to daylight savings the time in Melbourne, Australia is Greenwich Mean Time (GMT+11). I usually try and stick to daylight hours but for the last few days I have had a very severe dose of 'flu. I've been up all night spluttering and wheezing and falling asleep during the day.
Peaches · F
@will999 Oh cool, thanks!😊🛎
will999 · 70-79, M
@Peaches I almost forgot, make sure that your computer's sound system is switched on and the volume is set to an audible level.
Peaches · F
@will999 [b]Right![/b]
will999 · 70-79, M
Hello again msoreally93. I've been thinking a lot about your question lately, even though I have previously posted a response. It is a good question. I think it would be a good idea to be friends with your ex [i]if friendship were possible[/i]. If two sensible and responsible adults both came to the sad conclusion that they are not right for each other as a couple and they agreed to separate amicably and fairly, a friendship may well be worthwhile but it would require open minded respect and trust. I do not know many ex couples who separated this way, do you? As far as I can see, when a relationship comes to grief it is often because [i]respect and trust were lacking[/i] in the deal somewhere, and the couple split because at least one of them simply could not take any more of it. In that sad situation if mutual respect and trust [i]had even been possible[/i] the split may not have occurred at all.
Peaches · F
If you have kids, for their sake I think so. The rest is up to your judgement.
Peaches · F
@will999 I've read about "happy ever after" in stories before.🤓
will999 · 70-79, M
@Peaches A relationshp does not need to be perfect to succeed but in order to have half a chance both parties need to be realistic, be ready and able to deal with life on life's terms. This is how we assess maturity. Speaking only for myself now, I was too young to get married at 22. I am not sure what my EX. would say about that today. At the age of 24 when she walked out, she refused to talk about it. Today there is very little to talk about. We're both a bit older and wiser now, but what's done is done. [b]Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart[/b]. Do I sound pedantic to you? Are you married?
Peaches · F
@will999 No, you sound fine and much wiser. 22 is too young in my opinion to start a family, of course many have but only a handful stay together that young. Kids can either "make or break" a marriage. Unfortunately wisdom only comes with age. No, I don't get married anymore, haha!😄⭐
JQuest7575 · 41-45, M
It depends on the ex. I have an ex-gf in France that I parted on good terms with. Whenever I go there to visit, we get together to hangout, have sex, or visit her family (who use me as the standard for all her boyfriends there after). Another ex-gf I have was a huge alcoholic and partier. I didn't realize until much later how toxic the relationship was and how unfaithful she was whenever I was not around.

I'm willing to hear your story and give my advice if you want. Friend and PM me.
SW-User
For me only when a lot have time has passed. Took me a year before I could be friends with him.
SW-User
If both people want friendship then it's a possibility but usually one person wants more than the other
turbineman40 · 80-89, M
Drop this person from your life and move on
Yeah. Hes a nice guy. Hes like a brother to me now :)
cd1019 · 41-45, M
Unless he's abusive or a criminal, I think so... generally don't believe in burning bridges, unless your ex is the kind of person who would be a toxic influence on your life.
ronisme1 · 61-69, M
My wife says yes and stays with him when she visits calif out of state, for me no way. I was married to someone even my wife doesn't like and she likes everybody
butterfly1013 · 26-30, F
That depends on a lot of different factors from my experience I would say that's not a good idea.. at least with one of my ex's.
bhatjc · 46-50, M
Depends on how good was your relationship when you broke up. Some ex's are good and some are toxic as hell.
coolboy86 · 36-40, M
it kinda sucks cause your like constantly wanting them back
LachrymoseLamer · 51-55, M
It just depends on whether you'll get on ok.
cycleman · 61-69, M
if they are friends , sure.
I think it really depends on how your relationship ended and how secure both parties are in their new relationships.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

 
Post Comment