How do you move on from an abusive relationship?

I got out of a really bad relationship a few months ago. While I don’t love my abuser anymore the affects still linger. To the point where I push people away because I am so afraid of being hurt. It cost me someone I really love recently, and I can’t stop kicking myself over it . How do you learn to be patient with yourself and learn how to allow someone to love you the way you deserve?