How do I stop opening up so easily?
I keep making the same mistake with women and I don’t know why. I can’t even get a first date without my mouth opening up to them and then it causes nothing , but problems for the both of us.
26-30, M
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You don't have to hide. People will inevitably figure each other out (as much as humanly possible). Just ask her more questions and express your interest in connection. And go in to each date with the goal to make friends first. Then you won't have your expectations crushed every time. It takes time to meet a good match.
Spoiledbrat · F
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SW-User
What do you talk about? Do you complain about your life?
VulcanGalaxy · 26-30, M
SW-User
@VulcanGalaxy You need to retrain your brain. Start with the people in your life ...friends, family, coworkers. When you see them, ask them questions about themselves. How are you, what did you do last weekend, have seen any good movies, how's your family, how was work, ...whatever comes to mind when interacting with them. If you know their history, ask about the important people in their life. Ask questions, and show you're interested in what's going on with them. Do it with everyone, until it becomes a habit. Don't talk about yourself. If they ask, give short answers and ask them something else. As I said, retrain your brain to show interest in the other person's life. People like to talk about themselves and that you're interested in what they're saying. It automatically puts people at ease, makes them feel important, and you've deflected the discussion away from yourself.
Once you get to the point where you automatically place priority on what the other person has to say, start going out on dates again.
Once you get to the point where you automatically place priority on what the other person has to say, start going out on dates again.
CoffeeFirst · 56-60, F
Memorize this phrase: "Tell me about..." And listen. A certain amount of opening up should be okay with most people.
Tminus6453 · M
Stop being a drama queen when you first meet
REMsleep · 41-45, F
You dont need to stop opening up. You are looking at this all wrong. Are you overtalking your date? Are you asking your date questions? Are they interested in what you are saying? Dont be so inward. Focus on your date, it makes them feel special, expounding on any shared interests. I don't see any issue with you opening up so long as you are being a good date. A good conversation is back and forth. The only way you could run out of things to say if she also isn't saying anything.