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How do I make this girl from school want to start convos with me?

We don't have any classes together because we're in different years (shes younger)
We met at a school event and I kinda started giving her tips as a senior, and we just talked quite a bit. At the end she asked to take a pic alone together with me, despite having already taken a few with the group we were working together with. (There was only four people in our group) So that means, at the least she liked me more than my friends.

Then she commented on my stories on instagram as well, and we had a few short convos. After I started talking to her though, she stopped instigating the convos. Like now its always up to me. We had this period of time where we didn't really talk, but just said hi to each other in school. But now we've had 2 long conversations about life. Even though I'm the one who started them, she's really eager to talk (she's told me all sorts of things) and our convo goes on for hours or even days.

I get that the first few times, its ok for me to start because I'm the older one and I'm friendly with everyone which might make me seem slightly less approachable, but like, we've had our long convos now, and I kinda wanna make her start talking to me first, cuz if i do it all the time i'm gna seem predatory lmao.

Helpppp

[c=#BF0080]How should I start a convo with her now that I don't have any valid context for it? Previously I was under the guise of a friendly senior, but that period is over already, and now I don't have any reason to just text her out of nowhere. Despite the fact that our conversation always trails off the actual reason I text her in the first place, I feel like I still kinda need a reason to start it.[/c]
abe182 · 46-50, M
I think women liked to be chased. Let's them know you're interested in them. But being predatory is a whole other thing. If she's giving you clues that she's not interested then stop. Otherwise continue on, you're not a predator.
Touch or take her hand. Worse case scenario she'll go screaming down the hall, which won't happen.
firelaw · 22-25, F
@abe182 actually, there was a recent event that occured that would prevent me to do that even if I had any intention to aha. Some other kid seems to have a crush on her too, but they posted it online anonymously and out for everyone to see. So if I asked her out now it'd seem like it was me.
abe182 · 46-50, M
@firelaw ugh just say that wasn't me, say I like you and I'm not afraid to say it.
Don't let things get in your way.
firelaw · 22-25, F
@abe182 True but, thats a small reason ahah. If I get rejected it'd be pretty bad cuz i'm in a christian school, and even though I don't hide it, I don't tell everyone, and they're pretty clueless. So if i confess, most likely things will go downhill and I'd become the new gossip. Also at this point I kinda just wanna become closer friends with her. I kinda have to be friends with people before I get into anything, because you kinda get to know their personality really well before anything even starts. So it's more about just talking and getting closer, not a confession.
ShadowOfMyself · 31-35, M
It sounds like she wants you to chase her. You know, hard to get. I don’t know though. I’m just an outsider. Maybe, talking to her first is her way of getting confirmation you like her? I don’t know, I’m sorry I’m not of more use
firelaw · 22-25, F
@ShadowOfMyself True ahaha, maybe predatory was a bad word choice. I meant to say I felt like I'd be bugging her. And if she really was clueless, she'd start wondering why I was suddenly taking such an interest and maybe get suspicious or something. ahaha idk, i'm a lil paranoid
ShadowOfMyself · 31-35, M
In my experience, over thinking things complicates needlessly. Sometimes it’s better to act on instinct. I tend to make the better decisions in the moment. Instead of wondering “what if what if” maybe you should just straight go for it. You don’t want the opportunity to pass you by. Would you not rather know for sure? Open door philosophy. Open every door in front of you. That’s what I’ve been doing, anyway, and things have been turning out ok so far @firelaw
firelaw · 22-25, F
@ShadowOfMyself It's different for gay people though aha. I know the common phrase is rejection can't hurt, but currently I've only openly come out to my close friends, and even though I'm not trying to hide it (I constantly talk about it online, and I like to choose articles related to the community for classes), I also don't openly go around telling every person I meet because I'm in a conservative christian school and I don't fancy being the next topic of gossip. Not to mention its not accepted in my country.
OlderDude · 61-69, M
Just tell her, that anytime she wants to talk to you, she can as you really enjoy your conversations and that when you get a message from her, it brightens your day
firelaw · 22-25, F
@OlderDude I can't be too obvious aha, if she were my close friend like my previous crushes, i wouldn't mind saying those stuff but we're senior and junior so like if I'm too obvious and she doesn't like me back she might spread stuff.

I'm in a conservative christian school, even though half of us aren't christian. But like only my close friends know, and we try to keep things under the raydar because becoming the next gossip topic sucks, especially if you're a generally well known person.

at this point I'm still only trying to get us to become closer as friends aha
Dainbramadge · 56-60, M
Why do you want her to start the conversation??
ShadowOfMyself · 31-35, M
that’s fair enough. It goes without saying that there is a time limit on this kind of things. Act too soon and you could stop the progress, act too late and you’ve missed your opportunity @Dainbramadge
Dainbramadge · 56-60, M
@ShadowOfMyself Great way to think about it. :-)
firelaw · 22-25, F
@Dainbramadge I think its also about the fact that every time I start a convo, it comes from a valid reason. Like I'd ask about things were going, running for student council, because I'm a senior from the council. When she got rejected I also tried to help her out, but it didn't work. Then we had a great convo about the shitty people who made it in and how in the end it wasn't worht it, and the convo progressed to other more postive deep stuff. Now that she hasn't made it in through though, I don't have any reason to initiate a convo with her. It's kinda up to her to post (literally anything) online so I can comment (but she doesn't), or comment on something I posted.
No reason should be necessary
Just say hey what's up
At least you're connecting
firelaw · 22-25, F
@VictorieRoch yeah we have a lot in common, which only made my crush worse because we're more similar than I originally thought. But it's pretty obvious she's not into me, and she's been hanging around this mysterious person who is annoyingly unidentifiable, it so kinda adds up.
Sorry honey@firelaw
SW-User
She really might not be into you.
SW-User
@firelaw I was joking. Should have sent emoji.
firelaw · 22-25, F
@SW-User ahahaha
SW-User
@firelaw I was thinking about that movie. Lol

 
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