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I guess it is true...

I guess people can mourn themselves to death. My father passed away back in November just after Thanksgiving (as most people know from my post then)...my Mother passed last night only roughly two months after my dad. Mom just gave up, she had dementia and dad was her main guide, help, and support. After he passed she was just lost, she stopped eating, stopped taking her medications, and we did all we could do but in the end it overtook her. She had severe medical issues and infection because of it that damaged her liver and gall bladder (among other complications). They did emergency gall bladder surgery yesterday, but she never recovered because it was just too late (they didn't even think she'd survive the surgery but she did). Last night I got the call...she had instructions not to resuscitate...she and dad both did, but because of her dementia my brother and I were allowed to over ride that decision to have her on life support. We decided to just follow her wishes and let her go. I have never in my life ever had to make a decision as to whether someone lives or dies before. I know we decided the right thing because when they turned off the equipment she was already gone, but it still feels surreal to me.
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
Wow, that is quite intense. None of us could know what that feels like unless we also experience it. I'm guessing that I would have decided the same thing for her own good.
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@Wraithorn Of course she was already gone but we didn't know that for sure at the time...so it is the strangest feeling to think I had her life in my hands and had to decide whether she lived or died. I definitely wouldn't want to be faced with that choice again.
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@indyjoe I can only imagine. It must have been extremely surreal. That's the kind of purely adult experience that adds to your character in a big way. Even if you are not religious that kind of thing would surely cause one to contemplate spirituality and all kinds of philosophical things. It's one of those times in life when one reaches a fork in the path and one's mind has no choice but to choose the left or the right path because going back is not an option.

Namaste.
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@Wraithorn Those are things I have contemplated often before, but only through observation of others and not first-hand experience.
An extremely difficult time for both you and your brother, Indie...For me, honouring those who have passed from view is to constantly remember the 'good' moments and the 'bad' moments no matter how much sorrow or joy that the memory of those brings to us...
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@EugenieLaBorgia That is practically what I was just trying to say to DemonDoll...Thanks Eugenie.
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indyjoe · 56-60, M
@LittleEvilOne That is exactly what I am doing. I have actually been mostly focusing on my family...the one I have now, not the one I left behind (it's all I could do). But I do understand completely what you're feeling with your grandma, and my heart goes out to you.
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indyjoe · 56-60, M
@LittleEvilOne 😉🤗👌
It must be so very hard to have both parents gone, I am really sadden by it even though I don't know you personally, just imagine the pain you and your bother and even wife is going through! I am hoping for the best!
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@Deliiiiiiciiioooousbabe The strangest part is that their passing was only about roughly two months apart...
@indyjoe Exactly, Very heartbreaking!
goliathtree · 56-60, M
I was in the same position last May when my mother passed. I had medical power of attorney and there is not a larger responsibility, or a worse one.

I am sorry for your loss. It still feels surreal to me even after nearly 8 months.
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@goliathtree Thank you...and I too am sorry for the loss of your Mother. My condolences to you and your family.
MrBrownstone · 46-50, M
It happened with Debbie Reynolds.
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@MrBrownstone I always knew it was true...I just never witnessed it first hand like this before.
SW-User
So sorry for your losses
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@SW-User Thank you
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
I am so sorry. I know that had to be so hard for you. You did all you could and now, at least she is at rest. Sending my condolences and thoughts!
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@JaggedLittlePill Thank you so much that means a lot.
So sorry for their loss, my friend. I’m not a theist but the idea that they are together again would be beautiful to imagine. 💐
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@bijouxbroussard Thank you bijoux

 
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