So I have a male colleague that I very much enjoy spending time with. I fix my make up before I see him.....

I try to put myself in his 'path' so we can chat. But I honestly don't fancy him. I really don't..... But I'm behaving like I do. I genuinely don't get it. Thoughts?

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froggtongue · M

Some psychological factors you're not aware of for sure. Maybe you're just bored. Perhaps you are craving some sexual tension at the work place to keep your mind stimulated.

Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F

Interesting! Clearly he has some draw... is it his personality? You feel better when you are around him? But even so, I am not sure that's all.. .. you want to look for him.. so you care about him finding YOU attractive.. I wonder if it's that women tend to be attracted to the person, their thoughts, ideas and personality, WHO they are... rather than just looks.. so maybe you are attracted to him but not necessarily his looks..

Silenttears · 46-50, F

I never just go for looks. Other people at work actually find him quite dull but I do find him interesting/thoughtful in some ways but really quite annoying in others! But you are right I do care about him finding me attractive. It's weird, I have never felt like this before. I either fancy someone or I don't. This is some weird 50/50 thing for me! @Adaydreambeliever

yeronlyman · 51-55, M

He’s changing your behaviour, so he has some effect on you... perhaps you like the attention (nothing wrong with that)

Silenttears · 46-50, F

@yeronlyman could be that I suppose.

Lucia · 36-40, T

Sexual attraction?

Silenttears · 46-50, F

No not at all. It's weird lol @Lucia

Lucia · 36-40, T

@Silenttears There can be multiple explanations to it. But none of them will seem likely to fit it.

Maybe he has high social status and you'd like for him to fancy you?

* Not intending to make you sound superficial.