can i hear a secret?

A friend of mine was distraught in like, 5th grade because she couldn't find her cute, pink, sparkly wristwatch. She didn't know what happened to it.

I happened to it. I stole it, and I was so scared to be caught that I hid it behind some books in my Grandma's mini library.

Sometimes when I’m home alone I put leaves on my head and pretend I’m a carrot

My sons girlfriend has let a selection of butt plugs, and a vibe under her side of his bed......

I slept with my ex boyfriends best friend. I don’t think he ever found out.

Skipping classs atm

The Velveteen Rabbit has a message for you..............


“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby.
But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit

I have a secret fetish and love for duct tape on the mouth ;)

drops wifes deodorant on the floor... did you hear it land

I hope to receive camouflage undies for xmas

I am a professional provocateur working for the trilateral commission.

I don’t wear underwear on my head. Don’t tell anyone.

My mom doesn't know that i sleep in a bodybag

That's me in my profile picture 👙

Yes,I'm typing in my boxer shorts