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Am I misinterpreting our communication?

So I started dating this great guy after 2 years of him trying. We hit it off great--constant conversations, fun and happy dates, talking everyday for hours at a time or pretty consistent text conversation throughout the day. We went on vacation recently and I felt him getting distant physically. He finally opened up and told me that he's unsure if I've made peace with my past partners. We discuss it some and we go back to our normal lives.

He's not as communicative for the past week. Sporadic text. We were able to talk on phone for few hours altogether throughout the week, which was nice but slightly forced because of the awkwardness. I've asked him to either be consistent with communication as before or to just take a hike instead.

Granted, I know his job has its demands and me being unemployed gives me probably too much time on my hands. However, this has been the case for the past 1.5 months of us dating. I think we're both just frustrated. He's a more logical communicator so he lacks the emotions while I'm an emotional communicator and lack the logic. I also overthink with all of the anxiety.

He prefers and ask of me to be as direct as possible instead of sugarcoating.

I don't want to compromise my needs or add leniency just so that he can meet them again, although he was meeting them well before. I'm not sure what else to say or do. I feel bad because he asked me what he's doing wrong today, and I never want him to feel as if that's the case because he's a great guy that does sooo much. I never want him to feel like less because we're having a difficulty.

I'm just feeling alone and frustrated all of a sudden.

For disclosure, other pet peeves include:
-I'll give a whole speech on how I feel and why and his response is usually a word like, "okay"
-He isn't very vocal on expressing affection or affectionate things, but he'll gladly demonstrate it physically. Example, doesn't call me pet names or give compliments.
Gusman · 61-69, M Best Comment
He sounds like a normal guy who initially was free to talk about himself but once things seemed like progressing further, took stock, became self conscious and pulled back a little/lot.
Might have frightened him with your candour and he does not know what to do with it. Getting cold feet, he may be over thinking it as well. Inwardly. You know guys and girls think totally differently on almost all topics especially relationship stuff. It is scary stuff. Might be unknown territory for him and he is floundering. Do not expect too much. Accept him for who he is and do not pressure for emotional responses.
Always difficult to find someone compatible, not flawless, because they do not exist, compatible is good.
This can work, without pressure, unless you need/require an emotional communicator.
Working people do live in a different time zone and have many things occupying their minds/time.
You will not be on his mind 24 hours a day. He is busy with work, work politics. He may have a whole lot of pressure weighing him down but he is not going to open up about that. A huge proportion of the population are under huge stress but they do not off load on their loved ones/partners.
Not much more I can say. Wish you well. Do not expect too much, and do not pressure him to open up. He will if he wants to/ready to.
HerKing · 61-69, M
@Gusman <<<< This
Gusman · 61-69, M
@Gusman Thanks for BA👍

HerKing · 61-69, M
Communication is everything...Especially the early days...How do you feel if what you've said above lasted the next 6 months/year/two years....?

EDIT: It occurred to me, is he jealous of your previous partners and his saying you're not at peace is him saying he can't deal with it?
thepixiestixs · 26-30, F
@HerKing It' not a jealousy thing...I admittedly have a terrible habit of oversharing certain details that can definitely be omitted. Sadly isn't the first or 5th time someone has mentioned that. Granted, I'm not actively working on stfu sometimes. I think it gave an unflattering image which caused him to take a few steps back. The thing is outside of this one incident our communication is great. We bond and mesh well. this is just difficult.
HerKing · 61-69, M
@thepixiestixs He has no problems at work he's told you about that might be bothering him? Any you suspect he hasn't told you?
xRedx · M
I was in a similar situation, but I broke it off. She was the emotional one, I was the logical one in the relationship. Long story short, if you're no longer happy and he's not budging, move on. I did and it was the right thing to do.
thepixiestixs · 26-30, F
@xRedx I know this may be a typical response, but he's not worth letting go because of one difficulty throughout our dating. I don't want to run this soon without giving it a chance. Just means it's time to reevaluate methods of communication from both ends. I absolutely respect and appreciate your advice. Thank you.
xRedx · M
@thepixiestixs That's a good approach. Try working things out before and see if it's still salvageable. In any case, follow whatever makes you happy. You're welcome, and good luck.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
It sounds like you need to decide what you really want.
Steve42 · 56-60, M
Sorry tltr.
HerKing · 61-69, M
@Steve42 Why even bother replying then?
Steve42 · 56-60, M
@HerKing It's a perspective the poster should know. Be quick, make your point, say what you want to say, noone is going to read a whole page of diatribe.
SINAI · T
Just stop being a bitch.
thepixiestixs · 26-30, F
@SINAI How kind of you to say...

 
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