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Need your opinion - Am friends with a married man whom I met online

He has conditions about me texting him - should correspond only during working hours on weekdays. That too he is often busy with work. No messages once he reaches home - if is not like I send anything obscene, just normal conversation. Even if I send him a text in the evening he will not reply.
Strictly no texting during weekends.
He went on a 3-week vacation to visit his daughter in Singapore. Absolutely no contact.

Would you continue with such a “friendship” or drop it? He’s afraid of hurting his wife - that’s why all these “rules”. I’m not even his lover, just a friend. Is it worth it? Am I losing my self respect?

What would you’ll do?

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PerfectIllusion · 41-45, F

If I can offer you some kind words of advice, walk away before you get in too deep. An online friendship can be a wonderful thing but when one or both parties are already in a committed relationship, that's a recipe for disaster. You'll find yourself wanting more and more of his attention as time progresses and that's just not possible. Best of luck with whatever you decide. Protect your ❤

pentacorn · F

no, i would not continue with such a friendship.
drop it, yes.
it's definitely not worth it.
you will find yourself running short on self respect, yes.

i would not do this 'friendship'.

SW-User

That’s an easy one... his friendship with you is secret and does not want his wife/family to know. Most women would have issues with their husbands talking to women online...

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SW-User

@Primnproper There is noone we can trust 100 percent. Some one can be happy at home an still succumb to temptation and there are many easy temptations. Did I say [u]many[/u] easy and ready? Yeah lol.

SW-User

@katielass I agree!

SW-User

@SW-User oh Lord yes!!!

Primnproper · 56-60, F

Well you're obviously his secret and maybe he intends for it to be more as time goes on because otherwise he would be open with his wife..

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solitaire · 41-45, F

Am not interested in having anything further

Primnproper · 56-60, F

@solitaire you're not but are you sure he isnt..

cylandur · 41-45, M

Then drop it. What sort of friendship is worth that much hassle?

katielass · F

If a friend told me not to text him at home or on weekends I'd understand he doesn't want to risk his wife finding out and thinking it's something else. I'd respect that, IF it was just a friendship.

PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F

My guy friends who are taken have very little to me with me as well but they actually see me in person sometimes. I can understand why that married guy is like that.

They flirt like mad in real life though!

sarahcupcake · 36-40, F

I am sorry to sound unhelpful or harsh but... I'd never have any sort of relationship with someone already in a relationship under any circumstances. I appreciate that in your view it's some sort of friendship but apparently he doesn't.....

So... this is what I'd do. I'd ask around and find him the best counsellor I can and put him in touch... in the hope that he gets in touch both with reality and himself

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sarahcupcake · 36-40, F

Well...I'm not joking when I say, Solitaire, just be careful. I really mean that :) @solitaire

solitaire · 41-45, F

🤗. I shall keep contact to a minimum going forward

sarahcupcake · 36-40, F

Phew... I am smiling... yayyyy... you deserve nice friends :) @solitaire

cylandur · 41-45, M

I can vouch for PaleandPolluted's words. I have female friends online. It doesn't mean that I am sleeping around. Does my wife see it that way? Nope. So, yes, I have to hide this fact from her. Relationships and people are... complicated. Look, honestly, I would examine your own feelings... rather than rely on someone else's judgment. Is the relationship working for you? Do you want more?

solitaire · 41-45, F

i don’t want more. Definitely not

cylandur · 41-45, M

Sorry to seem insensitive. But, I didn't notice that you had messaged me... privately? Again, if you're not wanting anything more from the relationship, I would suggest that you drop it. As others have said or insinuated, it seems like he wants more.

KingLionHeart

It's the secret that is bothersome.. he obviously feels he's doing something he has to hide.. so it's wrong...

fazer1k · 56-60, M

He probably isn't being honest with his wife about your friendship. Then again I would expect him to prioritise his wife unless they no longer consider themselves a couple and what he has with you is understood to be more than friendship.

I'd say it sounds like a recipe for disaster right now and I would leave well alone, at least in terms of anything more than purely friendship.

DarlingSelah ·

Have some self respect.

Primnproper · 56-60, F

Oh dear Dixie blocked me..social networking is not for the faint hearted!..😂

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Primnproper · 56-60, F

@cylandur they should be fair not biased.

cylandur · 41-45, M

@Primnproper I was thinking more along the lines of "something, something, and everyone has them..." ;)

Primnproper · 56-60, F

@cylandur 👍well of course.

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SW-User

@FelixLegion Right on 👍

Goralski · 51-55, M

Don't b a home wrecker

solitaire · 41-45, F

Hey I am not a home wrecker ok

Goralski · 51-55, M

@solitaire his wife would agree

PiecingBabyFaceTogether · 26-30

I don't think he should keep you a secret if he wants to stay friends only. I can't really judge him though cuz maybe his wife is a trouble maker or he isn't happy with her.
I still believe that a man and a woman can be friends even if both are married.

Stoneplate2

Conditions conditions conditions. What is he ur conditioner with special instructions? Girl just use shampoo

SW-User

@Stoneplate2 lolz!

Brenda · 61-69, F

you have conditions which are another word for rules, set a date leading upto that date get as much out of him as you can then walk away, you owe him nothing