Am I a bad person for liking this girl?

My last year of college I met this wonderful girl, who made me feel things I haven't before. For the first time in my life I felt like I was capable of being loved, the way she treated me nicely instead of taking advantage of me. She had her own problems, suffering from anxiety and severe depression. She had an abusive boyfriend, who almost pushed her to the point of suicide on multiple occasions. I broke up their relationship. Some time later my friendship with her deteriorated, I tried to both be her friend, but she already knew I was interested in her myself. She pushed me away, and severed all contact with me. I asked around why, and apparently my messaging once a week became annoying to her. She had many new boyfriends since, and it always hurts me because I know I can never be loved the way she loves those other guys. I still have mutual friends who tell me what's going on in her life, even though she want's nothing to do with me a year after we last spoke. I have had thoughts of ending my life to make the hurting of her absence stop. I just feel so incomplete, and empty knowing we can't ever be together. I've even resigned myself to the fact that no one else can love me, and it would be better to avoid any future involvement in romantic relationships with anyone else because no one else has treated me as nicely. I have good friends who did convince me she isn't the only light in my life, but she was such an important light I can't feel whole again without her.

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Ladywiththepants · 31-35, F

There is clearly an entirely other side to this story, and not to be an ass, your story doesn't add up to probably what is actually going on. All I read when I read this is someone who is obsessed with a girl, and your obsession is making her feel uncomfortable and possibly unsafe. I sense that you have mentioned suicide to her or for someone to tell her, to attempt to manipulate the situation. It's time you man up, realize that not everyone has reciprocating feelings in terms of love, and understand that just because one person isn't interested in you, doesn't mean no one else ever will be. Not to mention, even if someone did have feelings for someone else at one time, doesn't mean those feelings can't change. Get some help before you show up on the news.

Razoreye001 · 31-35, M

@Ladywiththepants No one else knows I considered that in the past, I couldn't confront my friends telling them I felt that way. I also make rules for myself to keep myself from going too far.

midnightrose · F

Hmm. You’re not bad for liking her but she clearly doesn’t want you in that way. For whatever reason, she felt you came on too strong. That made her uncomfortable. Not surprising really after an abusive relationship.

I doubt she “loves” these other guys. You said she’s had many. That hardly shows she’s getting serious. She’s probably just more comfortable with their level of interest right now. You present something that she isn’t ready to accept yet.

Hamuda1990 · 31-35, M

[quote]My last year of college I met this wonderful girl, who made me feel things I haven't before. For the first time in my life I felt like I was capable of being loved, the way she treated me nicely instead of taking advantage of me[/quote]

Can you explain that in more details?

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Razoreye001 · 31-35, M

She knew for at least a year before she severed her ties to me.

Hamuda1990 · 31-35, M

Did you get more pushy or tell her some strong words?

Razoreye001 · 31-35, M

I don't think pushy or strong was the right words for it. When she broke up with the next guy after that I tried to ask her out again, and I did ask why I didn't deserve a chance when she was trying to ask out my best friend who turned her down believing I was better for her. after that she became more distant. My sense of worthlessness became too much, so I sent her a three paragraph message over facebook explaining my insecurities.

hertoy · 70-79, M

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Fluffy407 · 41-45, F

I think you need therapy... I’m not saying that in a nasty way. I think you genuinely need some counseling. She probably has a thing for people who treat her like crap, and needs therapy too. But you need to let her go and focus on healing yourself

SW-User

You need to step back because you are too obsessed with her and it seems like it's going into stalker territory. Seek therapy and find someone who likes you back. It's not worth it man.

Mondayschild · F

Wait a little while longer and you will find out that she was never worth your time.

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