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My ex just asked me to go out for ice cream later... I'm not sure what to do?

We're on good terms right now, but honestly knowing him if I say yes he's going to take it the wrong way and think it's an okay to date again which it isn't. Also knowing him, even though we're not together he probably bought be a ridiculously expensive present like he usually does and I'm not comfortable or okay with that. The problem is that I don't know how to say no without setting him off or making him mad and when he's mad he's terrifying. I don't need to deal with the stress or him going around being an ass over this.
FreeSpirit1 · 51-55, F
Sound like a bad idea to accept any gifts or meetings with him. Move on.
NaturallyPeculiar · 26-30, F
@FreeSpirit1 I am moved on. The problem is that he isn't, but he's very hard to deal with and I'm worried that he's going to freak out and do something stupid.
black4white · 56-60, M
@NaturallyPeculiar Stay away from him...the more i read the more you need to just block his number...and avoid him with everything you have
Giana · 70-79, F
Don't fall for the set up. He's manipulating you, probably again. Don't make excuses, just say no, otherwise he'll just come up with another con. Then find a place to go where he won't immediately find you until he forgets about it...and he will, while he plots his next move.
frequentlyme · 70-79, M
Sounds like it is time to set him straight, and NOT face-to-face. If he reacts badly, go for a protection order.
black4white · 56-60, M
WOW hes your ex and he has still put a fear in you to say NO..WOW...just WOW... i am truly at a loss of words. How about you say that you have other plans and cant do anything today but what about next week? That way its not a no and you dont have to worry about setting him off
NaturallyPeculiar · 26-30, F
@black4white I know. It's sad, but when you know what someone is capable of doing it's hard not to have fear when dealing with them. That's good advice though and I think that might be the best way to reply so I don't make him mad.
tombailey · 51-55, M
If you're not comfortable and have doubts, then your answer must be "Thanks, but no thanks"
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NaturallyPeculiar · 26-30, F
@DilbertTrump Please tell me you're being sarcastic...
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indyjoe · 56-60, M
Not meaning to sound abrupt...but the best thing you can do is don't go. Your ex is in the past, leave him there. Don't get trapped in a vicious cycle. If you've got a new relationship and someone with you now, don't jeopardize it.
NaturallyPeculiar · 26-30, F
@indyjoe I'm not going back to him. The problem is that saying no to him is hard because he can get pretty scary crazy about it. Trust me, if I could just stop all communication and kick him from my life I would- but to do that I would have to move far, far away where he can't find me and that's not possible at the moment.
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@NaturallyPeculiar I understand completely. Far too many times an ex refuses to admit that something is over, that a former love is gone and try to hold (even forcibly through rage intimidation and even violence). Hopefully he'll get tired eventually and give up/move on. I hope the best for you, I really do.
lilcountrygrl · 36-40, F
You have two choices... say no to him or give up and go back to him. Just depends what you want out of life. Do you want to live your life or do you want to be his property?

They have restraining orders for a reason.
NaturallyPeculiar · 26-30, F
@lilcountrygrl Going back to him isn't an option. I'm just not sure how to say no without setting him off.
Also, getting a restraining order isn't that easy. I tried to get one before against someone who was stalking me and was basically told that unless he physically hurt me or I had proof of him breaking into my house that there wasn't anything that could be done.
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NaturallyPeculiar · 26-30, F
@Greenbare What the hell? No.
Miram · 31-35, F
Then get some other man to defend you when he's angry if you can't do it, and can't avoid him till he is calm.
NeuroticByNature · 41-45, F
Tell him not on valentines day. If he gets mad just dont react to him.

 
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